VLS 2: TAMING HER HEART

FOURTEEN

5 YEARS LATER

The paradox that we want to know the feelings of being in-love but the moment we finally felt it, we just wish we did not wish for it. Before, I thought being inlove will set you free and you will feel happiness and contentment. Just like before, I thought Landon will be the man in my dreams. I thought it was just a happy ending not a tragic one with pain and betrayals, but after reading my books and reading the end part repeatedly, it all hit me. There is no happy ending in reality, we will end up dying and crying. We will end up swallowing all the good moments with hates and regrets.

"Mahal kita" I heard the guy said to the girl beside me.

I smiled sarcastically. Dati, sa tuwing may naririnig akong pinoy na nagsasalita ng tagalog ay kinakausap ko na may ngiti sa labi but not right now, I just couldn't lift my lips to form a smile. Those three words seem to be so bitter for me, just like my coffee this morning.

"Mahal din kita" the girl said.

The bus stopped and I readied myself. I stood up. I once glance at the couple and sighed. This is me after love ruined me. I gave my whole love to someone and I did not even bother to save a little bit for myself. Bakit nga ba hindi ko manlang nagawang magtira para sa sarili ko.

I was so foolish before. I should be more clever and now hating my naive old self was the least I can do.

When I get back to my apartment I saw Allison in front of her laptop. Katulad ko rin siyang manunulat. Isa rin siya sa kilalang writer dito sa Japan. Magtatatlong taon na kami ni Allison rito sa Japan. I still remember when I decided to leave Australia because I was too  broken. Ni walang alam ang mga parents ko kung nasaan ako. I just left a letter for them. Pagkatapos kong mag-apply sa company namin noon ay umalis ako dahil sa isang bagay.

I was once broken, ruined to be exact.

"Venice! You're here na!" Napatayo si Allison nang makita niya ako. Kinuha niya sa akin ang mga dala kong grocery at ang libro na binili ko.

"Bili ka ng bili ng libro mo, naka-stuck na nga lang 'yong iba. Paano tayo kikita niyan kung ikaw lang din ang bumibili?" Natatawa niyang sabi pero hindi ko magawang tumawa manlang. I just remained emotionless. Napahinto siya sa pagtawa nang makita niya akong walang reaksyon. Awkward siyang napakamot sa kaniyang batok. "Anyway, are you going to update Heart's Cry? Inaabangan ko 'yon"

Umiling ako. "Writer's block" simpleng sabi ko.

Sabay naming inayos ang mga pinamili kong grocery. "I decided to call Gerald for Dinner, he told me he got his new job as a waiter. Anyway, where's Caroline?"

"She is with Nakimo. He will buy her bike"

May anak na si Allison at ang ama ay si Gerald while Nakimo is the owner of this apartment. Nakilala namin siya sa isang event. Mahilig ang binata sa English novel at labis ang tuwa niya nang nakilala niya kaming dalawa ni Allison. Simula noon ay naging magkakaibigan na kaming apat.

"I will cook. What do you want for dinner?" Tanong ko sa kaniya.

"Yung hipon ang gusto ko. Ayaw ko nung chicken"

"But Caroline wants chicken meat" nagtatakang tanong ko.

"Huwag mo siyang masyadong pinapakain ng manok, mamaya manuka nalang basta basta 'yon o kaya tumilaok" natawa pa ito. Napa'haist' nalang ng walang matanggap na kahit anong reaksyon sa akin. Inirapan niya ako at inis na umalis doon.

Napapabuntong hininga nalang ako. Binuksan ko ang telepono ko na kanina pa nakapatay at sunod-sunod na notifications ang pumasok doon. I changed my name Verra Quinn into Venice Gabriel. I decided to use my mother's maiden surname. Mula kasi nang umalis ako sa Australia ay 'yon na ang aking ginamit. I don't want them to locate me. Gusto ko munang maghilom noon and now I am fully healed. I am not stupid like before.