IGNITE

Thirteen

After Axel left I wanted him to come back. I felt like everything was falling apart around me and he was the only thing that wasnt changing. But I didnt reach out for the phone to call him. My pride was hurt to much. So I just laid in the bed and cried silently. Believe it or not I was looking forward to the wedding. He had made it seem more than just a partnership. Almost as if the entire situation could be real. That he really loved me and that he wasnt just marrying me to save our families our money and our reputations. I cringed as I tried to move in the bed, I needed something to make this pain in both my mind and body go away. So I pressed the button for the morphine drip and then fell back asleep.

________

WHen the music starts my breath starts to come in short spurts. I was starting to panic. I watched as the wedding party made their way down the aisle. I peeked out the door and saw Axel standing at the altar, looking nervous yet confident in the matter. How could he still want to marry me?

When my que to go came on over the speakers, I hesitated. Was this really what I wanted to do? Yes. It was no matter what I tried to tell myself, I was head over heels in love with Axel Sheridan. So I took the first step outside of the doors and everyone in the church stood up and turned to watch me walk down the aisle. My dad met me right outside the door and grabs my arm and we make our way down to Axel. I smile but Im  sure my eyes dont meet it. I was confused. I was always confused. Especially when it concerned Axel.

When we reached the altar, my father let go of my arm and Axel grabbed my hands bringing me a little closer to him. The preacher says a prayer that I dont hear and then everyone around us sits. As the preacher starts the ceremony up, Axel starts making my special day a day from hell. "Do you have any idea what I want to do to you right now?" he whispers to me. I tense up at his question. The preacher continues. "I want to bend you over, right here," he whispers again. I reel back in shock. Mother of God what was wrong with this man! I look up at Axel and he smiles cockily. I scowl but focus my attention to the words that are coming from the preachers mouth.

And then the I do's come. I say my part, maybe a little more unconvincing then I intended. And then he said his. And I knew he meant it. I was his forever and nothing was going to change that. After the sobbing within the pews quieted down, "You may now kiss the bride" was announced and Axel grabbed me close to him and smashed his lips to mine. When the catcalling was finished and he pulled away he leaned his forhead against mine. "You ignite a fire in me that I cant put out," he tells me.

______

I wake up from the dream slowly. I rub at my eyes and look over next to me. He's back. Apparently he didnt get my hint. 'I thought I told you to leave?' I asked groggily. That morphine was really kicking my ass. "And I think you should know that Im never going to leave you. I cant. I love you Lenna Filmore. and whether you want to admit it or not, you love me too." he snapped at me. "I had a dream that you married me," I told him. "Its not a dream. Im going to marry you. and we can say a mightly big fuck you to our families if you want. I have a job. I can support you. I dont need Sheridan or Filmore to survive." he tells me.

'I need to think," I tell him and he smiles grimly, leans in and kisses me, then leaves the room. I stare at the ceiling again.

I was knocked out of my staring contest when I heard voices outside of my room. "Mom what if....what if she cant get fixed?" I hear Felicity ask our mother. "Jesus Lissie, you cant fix something that isnt broken, she's burnt not fucking deformed," my other sister, Katy snapped. "Is she still marrying Axel?" Felicity asked. "For fucks sake Felicity can you PLEASE think about someone other than yourself? It doesnt matter if she marries him or not, the point of the matter is that she is alive and okay." Katy stated. "Do we tell her that they havent found who did this to her?" our mother asks. Rhett was still on the loose? I shivered. I didnt feel safe even in the hospital now. "We know who did it. The same one who burnt her house to the ground," Katy said. "And no one knows where Rhett is? Dad tried calling his cousin but its like they both dropped off the face of the earth,"

So Rhett had did a burn and run? He left me for dead. The guy that I had loved since highschool. Spent college with. Shared my body with. My thoughts, my plans, my faults with, he left me for dead and left without looking back. Part of me felt betrayed. The other part of me wanted to press the morphine button just so I could go back to feeling nothing.

"lets just go in and talk to her. Dont mention Rhett and for the love of God Felicity, do not mention her face." my mother demands. "Im not stupid," Felicity growls. I watch as they walk in the door and as their faces pale. "You heard everything didnt you?" Katy questioned meekly. "It doesnt matter. Ive seen my face. Axel and I...we're finished." I reply.

"What do you mean finished!" Felicity exclaims. "If you dont marry him we go broke!" "Oh shut your ass up!," Katy yells. "You are the most selfish person in the world. Actually we all are. How could we sit here and think that asking Lenny to marry him was a good idea? Actually we didnt even give her an option! How is this fair to her? She's been through two house fires goddamnit. She's been through enough. And I would rather see her happy and poor than miserable and rich!" Katy ranted.. My mother looked at her and said nothing. But Felicity was still fuming. And thats what always set us apart. Yes, I loved nice things. I had an addiction to Neiman Marcus. But like Katy said, I would rather be happy and poor than miserable being forced into something that could never in a million years work out.

"Axel still wants to marry me. But look at me. Its out of pity. He can say he loves me. He can say Im still beautiful. But in the end. I know what the right thing to do is." I tell my sisters and my mother. "The right thing to do is to do right by your family," Felicity growls. "Sure. And thats what my original plan was. But its not now. I love you all. Maybe you slightly less because youre an ungrateful bitch," I tell Felicity. 'But this has put everything into perspective. I love Axel Sheridan...Im not going to deny it but we arent going to work. It was never going to work." I say.

Someone at the door clears his throat and I see Axel standing in the doorway. He was wiping tears from his eyes. "Thats a lie," he says gruffly. "We ARE going to work. You are just afraid. Afraid that I dont love you when I dont know how many more languages I need to assure you in that I do!" he cries.

My sisters take a step back and my mother looks at the both of us. "Its clear that the two of you have a lot of talking to do. Your sisters and I will be in the cafeteria. If you need us have them page us," she says and then her, Katy and Felicity leave the room, leaving me with the man that drove me insane.