Insanity why are you my Clarity?

CHAPTER 4 (Ribs are cages)

“Christian.” That’s all I can say sa sobrang pagkaspeechless ko. Nakasuot siya ng puting rolled up polo, black slacks and brown leather shoes.

“Uy Ysang uhugin! Akala ko sa condo mo ikaw uuwi.” He smiled and he’s talking to my like walang nangyari kagabi. I can feel my cheeks burning from embarrassment sa gabing iyon. I sat where I can face him at nakita kong natutuwa si mama sa pagdating niya.

“A-ah… bibisitahin ko lang pala ang mama ko kasi… ‘di ako nakauwi ng weekend. Nagkasakit kasi ako ma, sorry nga pala.” I gave a weak smile and she just nodded.

“It’s okay anak, ‘wag ka na kasing pakapagod. Sabi ko sayo eh less lang ang trabaho since naipasa ko sayo ang posisyon. Don’t worry nandyan ang mga tito’t tita mo para alalayan ka.” She just smiled at iniabot ko ang cookies na binili ko bago umuwi.

“Oh! Pareho kayo ng dala ni Christian. Ang galing nga nitong si Christian kasi alam niya ang paborito kong cookies.” She smiled at her and he smiled back.

Ganito nap ala kagwapo si Christian. Sa tindi ng asaran namin hindi ko na napansin kung gaano siya kagwapo. He’s really handsome and so male that his presence is enough to boil some desire at your body.

I erased the thought. Ang bastos na ng isip ko, shi*t!

“Christian, dito ka na magdinner kasi si Lola Andeng eh tuwang-tuwa nung makita ka kanina. Stay ha? Kasi miss ko na iyong kuya ni Alyssa. Ayaw pa kasing umuwi dito sa Pilipinas. After ng board exams, sumama na siya sa tito niya doon.” Then my mom gave him a weird smile.

“Yes tita, kamusta na nga pala si Felix doon? I hope he’s doing fine.” Then he winked at me na nagpagulat sa akin. My eyes literally went huge when he did that. Paano niya ba nagagawa na maging awkward ang pakiramdam ko? Lintik na ‘to sobrang gwapo kasi kahit nakacorporate outfit eh he’s still ruggedly sexy.

You know what’s playing on my head? Boom Clap by Charli XCX

The song definitely describes what my chest feels kaya nakakastress ang mga nangyayari. How can he do this to me? This too much sex appeal drives my mind too crazy to think about anything. WTF talaga. Ang gaga ko bakit ko ba pinagpapantasyahan ang kababata ko. Napakabastos ko, asar talaga.

“Baby, naghanda nga pala ako ng Lengua, Caldereta, at Baked tahong. Buti na lang talaga nandito kayong dalawa kasi malamang ‘di namin ito mauubos. Come here Christian, sit beside Aly para makakain na tayo.”

Fvck naman paano ako makakakain kung siya ang nasa tabi ko. He’s too flashy. Juskopo sana kainin ko ng lupa ngayon. Nakakamatay makatingin si Chris. Sobrang gwapo niya, kahit para na akong sirang plaka sa kakaulit. Fvck me right?

I sighed na nakaagaw sa atensyon ni mama.

“Okay ka lang baby?”

“Yes mom. Pagod lang, sakit ng legs ko kasi.” Natigilan siya.

“Hindi ka naman athletic at may kotse ka naman pero paano sumakit ang legs mo?” Lumaki ang mga mata ko, sh*t paano ko ba maeexplain ang kagagahan ko kasama ng lalaking sobrang gwapo sa tabi ko?

“Ah ma, sira kasi yung kotse ko nung weekend kaya lakad-lakad.” She just smiled and went back eating. Sumaglit ako ng tingin kay Chris at nakita ko kung gaano siya kagraceful kumain. He’s so hot. How can he be so hot?

I pouted and went back eating. I really want to go back sa condo para matapos na ang pagpapasakit ng kasexy-han ni Chris.

“May girlfriend ka na ba, Christian? You’re so handsome hijo at sana gumaya ka na sa mga kapatid mo. At ikaw naman babae, maawa ka kasi gusto ko pang maabutan ang mga apo ko. Ni wala kang boyfriend na maiharap sa amin. Nakakadepress anak ha. Hindi ka naman pangit, matalino ka naman at higit sa lahat responsible pero bakit wala ata akong nabalitaan na may nanliligaw sayo?”

I can’t find any words to answer my mother. Ang hirap naman ng tanong kasi. Nakakainis.

“Actually, I’m in an open relationship with someone from my circle of friends. She’s pretty and really nice. She’s 27 years old.” Why do I feel disappointment?

“Whoa, ngayon ka lang ata nagpakilala ng babae. Sus introduce mo naman kami ni Althea Marie para makilala namin. Ayieee! Binata ka na nga Christot.” I smiled at him.

He looked at me in an expressionless way. “Yes, I am a grown man Alyssa. You should be the one knowing that.” Then he looked away.

Naibuga ko ang iced na iniinom ko. I choked. I stood up and ran at the kitchen sink to gargle and wash my face. Fvck Chris for being here. I was about to go back nang bigla siyang dumating sa harapan ko.

“Do I still have to show you how much matured I can be? I think kulang ata yung naipakita ko. I’m willing to give you more, Alyssa. All you need is ask, baby.” Then he caressed my cheeks and it sent chills to my spine na para bang may pinapadalang mensahe ang bawat pagdidikit ng aming mga balat.

“A-ah… I’m going back to the dining area, ‘di pa ako tapos kumain.” Paalis na ako pero he pinned me against the wall.

“Tell me, what do you want Alyssa? Tell me what you want. I’ll give you what you want.” Then his left hand is playing with my ears and I felt his hot tongue circling my earlobe and then again, he sends that anonymous chill to my spine.

“I-I don’t want anything… from you.”

“Really? But why do I feel like you’re playing a dirty game?”

“Chris, I’m not playing anything. Please, let me go.” Then our gazes met. It’s unattached and the more I hold onto it, the more I’m sucked in to his black hole.

He smells my neck. I can feel my skin absorbing his hot breath. Napapapikit ako. The sexual tension is too strong at hindi ko maimagine na nangyayari ito.

“Chris…” Then he started giving butterfly kisses on my neck.

“Why does my name sound too divine when you say it? I miss it already.” Then he went closer to whisper something. “I miss it, when you scream my name when you get the ‘O’.”

Nanlaki ang mga mata ko at umalis na siya at bumalik ng dining area.

Ako? I collapsed on the floor speechless with my heart being a wild creature. Yes, hearts are wild creatures  that is why our ribs are cages.