Violent Eulogy

Falling Apart

"Miss Sheffield was found dead in her house two days later."

There, I said it. Happy?

"How?" he asks without looking at me, damn, that's not a good sign.

"She was force fed bleach."

"What I meant was how was she murdered while there was an officer outside her house at all times?"

I feel my blood starting to boil, this, in no way was that my fault:" I can't be responsible for the incompetence of those around me..."

He yells at me: "This is the very definition of being a superior officer, Detective, to do your job correctly and make sure people who trusted you with their lives don't end up dead with bleach in their bellies!"

As much as I hate to admit it, the man does have a point.

We stay silent for a minute.

Then two.

I'm so very close to the end of the story, and I want him to calm down before this session is wrapped up, I can't lose my job, not after everything else that I've lost.

"What happened next? I believe this is the last murder?"

Oh it worked. He sounds, well not calmer but more collected. Still, pretty good.

I swallow: "Yes. The last one,...before Ash...Detective Stroud's."

I mean that was a stupid question, Stroud's death was the reason they asked him to be here.

His coal like eyes lock in mine, waiting.

"Following Miss Sheffield's death, we decided to search the past of all our three victims as thorough as we could to find a connection between them. Either there wasn't any, or we were unable to find it." I mumble the last sentence under my breath, all this time I believed we were doing a good job, and just now it sounded like we weren't.

So, I quickly go to the point where we made the groundbreaking discovery: "However there was a girl in Amanda's high school, she went blind last year, just hours before prom, someone poured bleach in her contact lenses case."

He flinches for a second: "And you thought it must have been Amanda?"

I lick my lips: "We don't have any proof, but we believed either it was Amanda or the murderer believed it was Amanda."

He nods again and strokes his chin: "So did you talk to the girl? Did she have an alibi for Amanda's murder? Or any connection to the previous murders?"

I look at his now hopeful face. I mean dude you know this story is not gonna end well, why do you get your hopes up?

I sigh: "Jenny Howard, the said girl, committed suicide three months ago."

His lips part briefly for a second, and for the first time I think I see a glance of sympathy across his face.

We just lost our only lead.

"I see." His voice is quiet.

"We searched Miss Howard's family farm, we imagined we might find some sort of clue in there."

He looks at his hands on the table, a grim expression splattered across his face, he knows it's the end.

"And we found the murderer using it as his hiding spot, there was a fight, I was injured, and detective Stroud was shot. Against all our efforts he got away."

I finish the story in a rush. There's not much to tell anyway.

He raises a brow at me, pissed: "What part of full details don't you understand, detective?"

My hands on my thighs curl into fists as I press my lips together. The pain that's coursing through my veins gets more intense with every passing second, I feel like something heavy is pressing on my chest, each breath comes out hurting, like I was stabbed in my lungs or heart, or both.

Loss.

The ultimate pain.

I thought I could handle it.

I really thought i could.

"Detective Dawn?" he scolds me.

"Give her a second." Captain says through his teeth.

I take my head between my hands, trying to control my loud and shallow breaths.

God, please don't let me cry, please don't let me cry.

I hear Wynne whispering to Captain:" Were they...?" and Captain's quiet reply: "Yes."

Huh, so he knew.

Wynne smirks:" Nice guys are the cheekiest. Who would've thought little Ashley Stroud was..."

Captain scowls him:" As wrong and unfair as it is to judge a dead man's actions, there is a time and place for it, may I remind you this is still a very formal debriefing session for one of my finest detectives?"

Wynne shrugs: "So what? It's not like I'll give her clearance to get back to work, she's a mess. She'll jeopardize the entire department."

The shock of what I just heard kicks me out of my dark haze: "Wait, what?"