Kill or be killed - An Undertale Fanfiction

Chapter 5 | The comedian

I pushed open the large metal door that lead out of the ruins. This is not gonna be much easier than before, but I have to TRY. I'm still wondering when I'm gonna find what I got pushed down here for.
A new location. This area appeared to be a little forest. There was snow everywhere, almost makes me wonder how they got this much snow when they're living UNDERGROUND.
I just decided to just walk through it already. It would really help if I had been more prepared for this kind of weather. I trudged through the snow, but then I remembered something. I have a limp. That's awesome. This snow is high enough as it is, and having an injured heel doesn't help. I saw a wooden gate in the distance. It looked poorly constructed, from what I could tell. I think I can still get through it. I kept trudging in the snow. Aside from the fact that snow was piling up in my shoes and pant legs, it was going well. Until... I heard footsteps behind me. I was being followed. I didn't dare look behind me. I ran as fast as I could in the snow, but coupled with the snow and my bad heel, I fell face first in the snow. I heard the footsteps getting closer. I just laid there, prayed they wouldn't hurt me.
"Wow. Looks like you took quite a fall. Do you need help?" The stranger asked.
"No, I-I-I'm f-fine." I stammered, trying to get up out of the snow.
"Here, let me help. Looks like you could really use it." They said.
The stranger gave me their hand, which appeared to skeletal, lacking any skin or muscles. I jumped for a second, not expecting that. But I took his hand, thinking he would be kind toward me like Toriel. The stranger lifted me up and helped me stand again.
I took a look at him. He was a short skeleton wearing a blue hoodie, black shorts, and slippers.
"Th-thanks." I told him.
"No prob. The name's Sans." The skeleton told me.
Sans the skeleton... WAIT! He just be the guy who wrote that joke book in Toriel's house!
"I recognize that name! You wrote the joke book!" I said enthusiastically.
"Hey! That's awesome!" Sans said. "Wait, knock knock!"
I smiled. "Who's there?"
"Andy."
"Andy who?"
"And he died!"
I frowned. "Sorry for your loss." I said sarcastically.
Sans laughed. "Say, I'm actually supposed to be on watch for humans right now, but, you know, I don't want to capture any humans."
"Wh-What?" I stammered. "The monsters want to capture me?"
"Some do." Sans said. "Like I said, I don't want anything to do with capturing you. However, my brother, Papyrus, is a human hunting fanatic."
"Oh crap... Will we have to worry about him?" I asked.
"Ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm................. I think yes. In fact, here he is now! Hide!"
"Oh crap." I ran to a nearby tree and hid behind it, hoping this Papyrus guy wouldn't be able to see me.
I listened to Sans and Papyrus's conversation.
"SANS!!!"
"Sup, bro?"
"HAVE YOU SEEN A HUMAN YET?!"
"Nope."
"WHAT?! YOU'RE SO LAZY!!! ALL YOU EVER DO IS.... Well..... NOTHING!!!!"
Sheesh. This Papyrus guy has no chill. Poor Sans. I can't believe that's his brother. What if me and Sans have some things in common? I mean, we both seem to have an emotionally abusive life. Well, maybe not both of us, because despite the fact that Papyrus is so mean, Sans seems to take it OK. Seems like he's not very anxious, unlike me.
"Chill off, bro." Sans said to Papyrus. "Sounds like you could use a knock knock joke."
"WELL YOU KNOW WHAT, SANS?!" Papyrus yelled. "That sounds great. I haven't had a great day."
"Ok. Knock knock!"
"Who's there?"
"Adore."
"Adore who?"
"A door is in between us. Just come in already!"
Sans turned to where I was and gave me a wink. I smiled.
"Wowie! That was actually kind of good, Sans!"
"Why DIDN'T the zombie cross the road?" Sans prompted Papyrus.
"I don't know. Why?"
"Because it didn't have any guts!"
Papyrus didn't laugh this time.
But I did. I laughed out loud from behind the tree.
Good job, me.
Papyrus heard me.
"WHAT WAS THAT?!" Papyrus asked, scanning the area.
"Definitely not a human!" Sans said post sarcastically.
Papyrus towered over sans in a threatening manner. "SANS, I CAN READ YOU LIKE A BOOK. Is there a HUMAN?!"
Sans stared at the ground. "Maybe..."
Papyrus growled. "SO THERE WAS A HUMAN?!" 
Papyrus ran over to the tree I was hiding behind and looked around it until he found me.
Papyrus's face now wore an expression of utter shock. "THIS IS FOR REAL?!"
"P-p-please don't hurt m-me... " I pleaded.
I took the opportunity to see what Papyrus looked like. He was tall, and wore a majestic suit, as well as a red scarf.
"Wow.... A little girl??? Wowie! This is amazing! A HUMAN! Wait........ Sans?"
"What?"
"Where you protecting this human?"
I gulped nervously.
"What can I say? She likes my knock knock jokes. Also, it's amazing to find a person in this world who understands me." Sans confessed. He smiled at me.
I smiled back. Sans wanted to protect me because he thought of me as a friend. I like him. However, I don't know what to think of Papyrus.
"So you like this human, huh? Why don't you marry her?" Papyrus teased.
"I'm only twelve and a half years old." I pointed out.
Papyrus's eye sockets widened in surprise. "Oh. Sorry, human. I didn't know. You're so tall. I thought you were, like, twenty."
I snickered. So did Sans.
"How old is Sans?" I asked Papyrus.
"WELL, HUMAN.................................. I don't know." Papyrus said sheepishly.
Sans looked dumbfounded. "Wow, Paps. You're the worst brother ever!" He said in a funny voice, putting emphasis on the fact that he didn't actually mean what he said.
I felt a little bad for Sans. His own brother didn't know how old he was.
"Human, what's your name?" Sans asked me.
I smiled. "Claire."
"I love that name." Sans said. "Well, Claire, I'm actually 21, which is old enough to go to a bar. That's why Grillby's is my favorite place to go!"
"TELL ME ABOUT IT..." Papyrus muttered.
"Say, Claire, wanna grab a burger?" Sans asked me.
I was willing to take any opportunity I could go get away from Papyrus. "I'd love that." I said. Despite the fact that I only left the ruins shortly after eating that huge piece of butterscotch cinnamon pie, I'm still kinda hungry.
"WAIT, SANS, WE HAVE TO CAPTURE THE HUMAN!!!"
Sans ran over to me. "Claire! DUCK!"
Papyrus grabbed a shiny green bone and swung it at my head. I didn't duck in time, and I felt a huge bang on the side of my head.
"Nigh night, human! Nyeh heh heh!!!"