The Bad Boy Computer Programmer At Wattpad

SUPERMARKET SUNDAY (Part 1)

That has--literally--never crossed my mind, Amanda thought.

Her friends rushed around the corner, scuffing their feet and giggling. "I don't know you," Amanda said in a teasing manner when they rejoined her.

"Oh, come on," Geri replied. "I don't even like dick, and I thought that was hilarious."

"What's wrong, A?" Jeannie asked, placing a hand on Amanda's shoulder. "I've been meaning to ask. We can tell something's been bothering you lately."

Shrugging her shoulders while shaking her head, Amanda lied in hopes of quickly brushing the topic under the rug. "Nothing's wrong."

"You haven't updated your story on Wattpad in weeks," Geri said. "That's not like you."

Amanda's eyes glanced towards sippy cups and binkies hanging in the display next to her. "I've been really busy lately."

"But you said The Storyteller is why you were put on this Earth," Geri countered.

"I'm just busy," Amanda reiterated.

"You also haven't posted anything on social media in months," Jeannie said, pointing out a change in Amanda's usual behavior. "Have you been leaving the house?"

Diverting her focus to jars full of green shit labeled baby food, Amanda replied, "I'm at Safeway, aren't I?"

"Doesn't count," Jeannie countered. "You have to leave the house to buy food."

"Technically," Amanda argued, "I could have it delivered."

"Now that I think about it, we haven't heard about the men you've stalked on the internet lately." Mona twirled her hair, seemingly in deep thought. "You're still stalking men, right?"

Amanda stared at a shelf of baby wipes, praying Ian wouldn't be brought up in the conversation. "I'm not a stalker. I'm an unpaid detective. And--Noooo."

"Are you okay?" Geri asked.

Pulling a baby rattle off a hook, Amanda gently shook it. "I'm fine."

"You don't seem fine," Jeannie said. "Something's different with you."

Amanda shrugged her shoulders. "Couldn't tell you. I stress about stupid stuff sometimes, but other than that, I'm fine."

"What's stressing you--stupidly?" Mona asked, poking a bag of diapers with her finger.

"Stupid 'what if' stuff. Like--what if I screwed up somewhere in my past, so now I'll never be the person I was supposed to be?" Returning the baby rattle back to the hook, Amanda whispered, "I mean--as time goes on, second chances slowly start disappearing. What if it's too late to be who I was meant to be?"

Jeannie wrapped her arms around Amanda and pulled her into a hug. "But I love the person you are. I wouldn't change a single thing about you."

Amanda felt the heat and moisture of tears invading her eyes. "But that's just it--everyone loves me, but no one's IN love with me." She pulled away from Jeannie's embrace and stared at an in-store blood pressure machine at the end of the aisle near the pharmacy. "Why is that?"

Silence fell upon the friends as they slowly continued down the aisle.

"Time for some real talk," Geri said, draping the mood with seriousness. "If you want someone to fall IN love with you, you have to fall IN love with yourself first. It's not the other way around."

Amanda half-chuckled at Geri's statement. "Should I marry myself?"

Unphased by Amanda's sarcasm, Geri continued. "Why would you expect someone to fall IN love with you if you can't fall IN love with yourself? It doesn't work like that. It's your job to show people how lovable you are, and you do that by genuinely falling in love with yourself first."