The Bad Boy Computer Programmer At Wattpad

SUPERMARKET SUNDAY (Part 1)

Amanda halted in the frozen food aisle and stared at her phone--speechless. Textless.

[[Jeannie] Uhh... what?]

[[Geri] ???]

[[Amanda] ...]

[[Mona] You know??]

[[Mona] When you put a grapefruit on a man and suck his straw?]

[[Jeannie] Whaaaaaaaaaat?]

[[Jeannie] A real man? Explain!]

[[Amanda] Should I know what you're talking about, M?]

[[Geri] Oh. My. Gawd. I just Goggled it.]

[[Geri] Grapefruiting is a real thing]

Amanda imagined Mona holding the front of her cart with her red fingernails, preventing her from continuing down the frozen food aisle. "You need to know what I'm talking about, because grapefruits will change your life."

Geri magically appeared on Amanda's right side and Jeannie on her left. Amanda could imagine all three of them staring at Mona in shock as the saucy Latina held a juicy bit of information behind a mischievous grin.

"How in the hell do you put a grapefruit on a man's penis?" Geri asked.

Mona held up a hand with fingers pressed together, as though imitating a knife. "You cut off one end of the grapefruit. Then you cut off the other end. Then you carve out a hole in the middle of the grapefruit that's the same size as the--."

Jeannie held up a hand, interrupting her friend. "Aren't they acidic'y--grapefruits? Does a man want all that acid on his--baby-maker?"

Grinning from ear to ear, Mona nodded. "Most definitely. Especially when you start sliding it up and down his pole."

Tilting her head to the side, Amanda asked, "So the man's thingy is like a--a straw or something? Like one of those coconut drinks?"

"It's a nut drink, for sure," Mona replied. "If you prefer something more tropical, I also have a recipe for a penis colada."

Jeannie giggled and flashed Geri a playful side-glance.

Amanda looked towards Geri than back at Jeannie. Pushing her cart into Mona to bump her out of the way, she said, "Nope. I know what's about to happen. Move, Mona!"

Geri put her arm around Jeannie and the two sang an altered version of Rupert Holmes's, Escape (the Pina Colada Song). "If you like penis coladas, and getting caught in the rain!"

Amanda smirked as she listened to her friends sing behind her. She slipped into the next aisle to dodge any association with the concert in the frozen food section.

Mona turned the duo into a trio as she added her Spanish accent to Geri and Jeannie's harmony. "If you're not into yoga, if you have half a brain. If you like making love at midnight!"

Unsure of the words, the three ladies stumbled over the song's next line. "And--getting--and--?"

Making up her own lyrics, Mona went rogue and sang solo. "And having sex on the beach. I'll put your penis in a grapefruit. And suck it like a leech."

Standing in the neighboring aisle surrounded by baby products, Amanda looked up towards the ceiling and laughed. "Oh, my gawd! That just happened."

There was a slight pause before she heard Mona comment on an item in the freezer section. "If you were thinking about putting a popsicle in your lady hole--think again. It's nothing like Eskimo dick."