I Couldn't Stop Caring

Chapter 17

"I'm sorry" Clarke said "She didn't deserve to die the way she did. You both deserved better."

Lexa shook her head "no, Costia deserved better. She deserved another person, someone who wouldn't have got her killed. To be the commander is to be alone. I learned that well that day."

"Lexa, you're still human. You still bleed when you're cut, you still care for those who need you, you still love, Lexa. It doesn't matter if you're down there..." Clarke pointed to the streets of polis "or up here. You still have an equal right to love who you want."

Lexa was silent, and she directed her attention to the spine of the book "can you teach me to read this?"

Clarke nodded and the commander passed over the book "Ill read it to you first, okay?"

"Yes" Lexa said, and watched as Clarke opened the book, green eyes fixed on blue which flicked across the words. Clarke could see her out of the corner of her eye, and couldn't help the small smile which sneaked onto her lips as she read.

From time to time, a candle would extinguish itself, and Lexa would silently stand and move to relight it. Clarke would always pause her words to glance up at Lexa's back, where her nightwear proudly revealed the beauty of a back tattoo. Clarke would have to force her eyes to shift back to the words on paper. At the back of her mind, however, the thought of seeing it up close nibbled away at her.
____________________
()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()

Clarke had to tug her eyes open, one after the other. And it was in that moment she realised she probably shouldn't have.

She had fallen asleep on Lexa's couch, in Lexa's room, with Lexa. And that very same Lexa was quietly tugging on a shirt for her day, back facing Clarke. And once again, her tattoo was shown perfectly. Lexa weaved around the room silently, attaching her dagger to her thigh, and her sword to her hip. Sharp edges on soft curves.

Clarke pushed herself up, stretching ever so slightly. The book which she couldn't even remember putting down, rested on the table facing down to keep its page. Clarke looked across at Lexa once again to see green fixed on her.

"Sorry, I don't even remember falling asleep. I would have gone back" Clarke apologised, rubbing the sleep from her eyes

"Do not apologise, Clarke. I am thankful that you are helping me" Lexa said with a small nod, coming to stand in front of her. She held out Clarke's jacket, which the blonde took.

"You should have just woke me up and kicked me out" Clarke chuckled, but she didn't earn a verbal response from Lexa. Just a small smile. Small, but still there. To Clarke, that was a bigger achievement than any words Lexa could give her. "I should go"

"Unfortunately, I think you are right" Lexa informed her "People will be starting to wake up, and if they see you leaving my room after spending the night, will think the worst"

"Worst?" Clarke thought out loud. Lexa's small smile transformed to a smirk.

"Well..."

"Never mind" Clarke quickly shook her head and made her way to the door "I'll see you soon, commander"

Lexa tugged on her armour, watching the blonde carefully "Clarke?"

"Yeah?" Clarke turned around to find the commander stood inches from her. Lexa leaned in and lightly kissed Clarke. It was short. Too short, and by the time it had began it had already ended. Clarke longed for more; she longed for so so so much more.

"Thank you" Lexa whispered, brushing Clarke's hair from her face. The girl almost melted in her hands.

"I... I'll come back" Clarke reassured. Lexa nodded once again, and watched the blonde slip through the door behind her.