outlines ✰ l.h.

chapter twenty-six

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-

It hit me like a hangover on New Year's day.

I groaned, rubbing my face with my hands. I turned under my covers and grabbed my phone. I expected a text or a call from someone; my dad, Ashton, or Luke. Nothing.

I got up from my warm bed and dragged myself to the bathroom. I was emotionally exhausted. I stared in my mirror and examined my look. A sloppy bun and too big t-shirt. My eyes were darkened underneath. My left over mascara I couldn't get off all the way last night was smudged around my eyes.

I turned on my faucet and splashed my face with cold water. Droplets ran down my forearms and fell from my elbows.

I peered up again as the color drained from my face. Snippets from last night rushed in from every corner of my brain. I could distinctively hear the sound of my zipper being tugged down and Ashton's heavy breath intertwined with mine. My lips buzzed in remembrance of where his met mine only twelve hours ago. The damp pads of my fingers touched my bottom lip softly. It had felt like I just taken shot of vodka. Burning, tingling, numbing.

I pushed away my thoughts and dried my hands and face off on the neatly folded navy towel sat my counter. But those thoughts creeped right back in my mind.

Ashton's gold necklace had felt overwhelmingly pleasant against my heated skin last night.

I shook my head. No, it didn't.

And his hands knew exactly where to grab on me.

But Luke grabs me better.

God, and the roughness Ashton had used with me. It felt it had been long overdue.

But it was never due.

-

Two weeks had passed since Ashton and I's incident, for a lack of better word.

It was Friday night again, and I was sat on my couch. 14 days was how long it took for Luke's roses to wilt. A few brownish petals laid on my wooden table, where Ashton's jacket had been.

I still hadn't told him. Luke, that is. I didn't want to. My guilt was eating me alive. Sure, we weren't officially dating, but that doesn't mean that what I did was okay. I was too scared to lose Luke. Prom was coming up, he had pledged his sincerity and kindness to me on that cold morning on those rocks. Rushing water may have made some of Luke's words incoherent that day, but I understand every word of what he meant and his intentions. I didn't want to mess up what Luke and I shared, even though I already did. I knew I would eventually tell him, just not now.

"Andy?" Luke firmly called out.

I broke from my thoughts, innocently looking over at him.

"You good?" He asked, chuckling this time.

"Yeah, I'm fine," I calmly replied, with my most sincere smile. I glanced over to my phone on the table, still not a single text or phone call from Ashton. My anxiety told me he'd call soon.

I was too nervous to call Ashton. He told me to only if I wanted to repeat the round, and I didn't. I didn't want him getting the wrong impression. Which I guess, I already gave him, considering I kissed him back and led him on for our half hour session.