outlines ✰ l.h.

chapter nine

"What else happened?" I asked Luke who was sat right next to me on the red love seat in his living room. I was asking him about the previous night since I still hadn't remembered much.

"Well, after taking a body shot off you," He began, reaching over to grab the remote to turn down the movie that was playing. "Which I'm sorry about, that was probably weird." He sheepishly said, falling into the back on the couch and resting an arm behind me.

"It's fine, really." I laughed. "It was a party. You can have some fun." I shrugged, trying to keep Luke from feeling like he did something wrong when in reality I didn't mind.

He stopped for a second just to give me a thin smile before continuing, "You and Michael were really fucked up, it was funny." He chuckled, obviously knowing more than I did.

I buried my face in my hands, "Oh my God, no. That's so embarrassing." My words were muffled, but Luke's laughing indicated that her heard me clear enough. I felt my cheeks burn as he went on.

"I promise you it was funny, all you guys really did was yell and try to be the DJ." He assured me.

"There was a DJ here?" I asked, which he only smiled at again.

"Nope." He answered, trying to fight back his laughter. "There were a lot of throwbacks, mostly from 7th grade." He added. "Plus there were only like 20 people left at the time. It was great really." He laughed this time, throwing his head back just a bit.

"Was that it?" I asked, still giggling a bit.

"That's just what Michael was telling me." He told me as he tugged on his lip ring.

"Where were you then? It seems like you missed the best part of your own party." I watched as he expression turned more serious.

"Remember Kat?" He questioned. I nodded my head at him. "I was with her." He said.

"Oh?" I raised an eyebrow at him in a suggestive way, just trying to get him to laugh again. He shook his head as his smile reappeared.

"No, not like that-Okay, yeah like that. But it's always an unconscious decision. Like, we wouldn't mess around if I was actually...sober." He kind of stumbled around with his words, but it was obvious that they'd been through this a lot. I didn't know much about her besides she left red bras, ones that matched her hair, in boys' rooms and lived on the other side of town.

"You're only happy when I'm wasted." I barely sang, their "relationship" reminding me of the song.

"'Stella'," He said, nodding his head at me. "Yeah, exactly." He looked relieved, like he was happy that someone was able to understand it. "But we wouldn't be having-I won't go into those details-I wouldn't even be talking to her normally. I don't even like her anymore. We had a bad relationship and I was do distracted by the idea of her than focusing on us." He explained, running his hands through his hair.

"There's something still there then." I told him, trying to sort out the mess he had going on.

"I don't know, sorry for bringing this up. It's a weird topic." He sighed.

"Don't apologize, it's better to look for some answers than keep it bottled up." I answered, giving him a gentle smile just to assure him that it'll somehow get better.

"You're going soft on me, Emerson." Luke joked, getting me to roll my eyes.

"Would you prefer it if I was harsh?" I asked. He just stared at me, a smirk growing on his face as the seconds passed. It seemed that being his only form of entertainment right now, I was doing a good job.

"I've had enough of harsh," he said. "It's cool to actually have someone who gives me an intelligent response rather than just saying 'just enjoy the free fucks'." He muttered, catching himself right after he spoke. "Sorry, you probably didn't care to hear that." He shook his head at me as he apologized.