outlines ✰ l.h.

chapter twenty-five

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I was stunned, but I didn't hesitate to kiss Ashton back. My hands ran up his biceps as he kissed me. I shivered under his touch, his hands roaming in places he hadn't been before. 

I briefly pulled back from my best friend, leaving only an inch of space between us. I stared at his plumped lips, adrenaline pumping through my blood. "I don't think anyone's going to get better than Luke," I whispered. 

Ashton smirked. I could tell he took this as a challenge. I had never seen his sweet hazel eyes turn so deep towards me. He initiated another kiss, this time placing his hands on my shoulders and pushing me against the wall. I gripped hard onto the collar of his leather jacket. I'd never gotten close to him in this way, and in the moment, I loved it. 

"Andy," he mumbled. His hands roughly gripped my thighs as he pulled them around his hips, my back now flat against the wall. He didn't dare to leave my lips for a second, letting me savor his subtle taste. 

Ashton pulled me away from the wall, lying me on my back on the couch now. We both breathed heavily as he slowly climbed his way on top of me. His golden necklace dangled in my face and without thinking I pulled it to me so our chests would meet.

Ashton let out a breathy laugh. "I didn't know you were like this, Ands," he whispered, his fingers tangling themselves in my hair. He gripped my hip as he kissed me harder this time. His hand made its way under my t-shirt, now squeezing the small of my waist. 

My back arched slightly as he kissed down my neck. The feeling of his tongue and teeth against my skin was driving me insane. Our hands couldn't stay in one place on each other, experiencing each other like this was all new to us. I never expected this out of him, I always saw him as so sweet and innocent. 

Ashton sat up for a brief moment, pulling his leather jacket and tossing it to the side. He had never looked so smug before. He looped his fingers around the collar of his white t-shirt, pulling it off with ease. He climbed back on top of me, his tan skin warm against my exposed midriff. 

His hands gripped as much as they could hold. He took advantage of the moment, exploring as much of my body as he could. Eventually, his fingers found themselves to the waistband of my jeans. We stopped our fiery kiss for a moment, my breath hitching as he began to fumble with the button on my jeans. He kissed down my neck again, causing my head to fall to the side. My eyes opened and I was face to face with a bouquet of roses.

The only sound in the room was the zipper of my jeans coming down. I stared down at my exposed red underwear, locking eyes with Ashton. His eyes weren't dark anymore, they were sweet and bright again. I shook my head at him and his expression projected confusion.

"What?" He worriedly asked, his eyes glancing from my own and then to my lips. 

I simply shook my head again, slower this time. I cleared my throat, running my fingers tips over the protruding veins in him forearms. 

"We can't," I whispered. 

"Why not?" 

I rolled my head to the left, staring at the beautiful bouquet on the table that was half covered by Ashton's black jacket that he'd taken off earlier. I built up the courage to look back up to him and meet his eyes. His bit his bottom lip, intently staring at me for a moment before speaking.

"Do you love him?" He asked. My hands carefully cupped the sides of Ashton's face.

"I care about him," I whispered, my voice breaking. "And what I just did was really fucking shitty."

Ashton didn't move. He barely nodded his head at my statement. He didn't even want to acknowledge what I just said. After a moment of silence he sat up and away from me, now sitting on my couch like a normal person would. 

I sat up, too. I scooted closer to him, trying to get his attention, which I failed at doing. I watched his bare chest rise up and down as we sat in silence. 

"At least you guys aren't dating," he sighed, finally looking back at me with his puppy dog eyes. 

Guilt washed over me. It didn't matter to me if we were "officially"  dating or not. I cared about Luke and he was proving to be a better guy for me. I wouldn't want this to happen with him and Kat, so what led me to continue it with Ashton? Why didn't I stop the second he got too close?

"It doesn't matter, Ash," I replied.

"It does matter," he shot back. I could hear the irritation in his voice. "It's not like you did anything wrong. You're not tied down in a relationship with him. You guys aren't anything."

I sighed. He was stubborn, and I knew that. Ashton wouldn't stop until he got what he wanted. In this case, Luke didn't get in his way of making a move on me. 

"What even was that to you?" Ashton asked in frustration. 

"I-" My sentence stopped there as he stood up, snatching his white shirt from the ground. "I don't know." I looked down at the ground, a sense of shame creeping up on me.

He pushed my chin up with his finger to force me to look at him in the eye, "Did you like it?" He quietly asked. I stayed silent, my head tilted up at him at an uncomfortable angle. His hand dropped from my face and he pulled his shirt over his head. 

He crouched down and placed his hand gently on my cheek. His thumb slowly ran down my cupid's bow before resting on my bottom lip. My lip was tugged as he moved his thumb down further, my lip returning to it's normal placement at his desire. He tilted his head to the side, now intently staring into my eyes and no longer lingering on my lips.

"Did you?" He repeated.

I swallowed, eventually nodding my head at him. I felt almost dirty to confirm my likeliness of our heated make out session, which nearly turned into couch sex. I didn't want to like it, because I knew it was wrong. I knew it would hurt Luke, and being truthful about this and coming forward to him was going to mess everything up. 

Then I sat and pondered Ashton and I's friendship. How would this affect us? Would I see him in a new light tomorrow? Would he see me in a new light tomorrow? Would this make or break us? I didn't want to lose Ashton, and I didn't want to lose Luke. 

I clenched my jaw at how stupid I was. I let lust take over my true feelings, letting temptation get in the way of what really mattered to me. 

"Why would you do that?" I huffed in frustration, running a hand through my messy hair. 

"Do what?" Ashton asked, looking clueless. I raised an eyebrow at him, or more at his unawareness. 

"Kiss me. Why would you kiss me?"

A smirk slowly crept onto his lips. "Why did you kiss me back?"

I wanted to slap that stupid smile off his face. "I don't know. There was just this weird tension and I was stuck in a moment," I answered truthfully as I stood up.

"Was it weird?" He slyly asked, following my actions and getting up from his crouching position.

I scoffed, "Yeah, it was. You don't have hot make out sessions with your best friend." I gestured towards the couch we were on just minutes ago, tingles running up my spine from the replaying feeling of his hands unbuttoning my jeans.

Ashton shook his head, laughing. Laughing. He obviously didn't take this as serious as I was, and it infuriated me. I crossed my arms over my chest as he collected his belongings. He walked right back up to me, now chest to chest with me. My heart raced at how close we were, it was like the situation was replaying all over again.

"Call me when you're ready for another one. Like I said, you deserve better."

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A/N:

IM SCREAMING

can we all agree ashton is hot

plz rememeber to vote/comment, it only takes a second <33333