Book of Poems

Letter to the Lost

Letter to the Lost

To anyone who might have loved me—for this, I am sorry.
I am sorry if I made you think I was actually happy here
When living had always been my biggest fear.
I am sorry for genuinely thinking some of you cared.
I was afraid of myself, like honestly, I was scared.
I am sorry for not having sense enough to know I annoyed you.
I thought you wanted me to come to you when I was feeling blue.
So, I wore a mask that had a smile
To hide my feelings for a while.
Trust me, I wanted you to see.
I texted you when I needed you to truly be there for me,
And you left me alone.
I know you had your phone.
So for this—I am sorry.
I am sorry that after this poem you will not be able to lie to me anymore
Because I have found a bottle of pills I want to explore.
I am sorry that I was clingy when I drove to your dorm.
I did not know if I wanted to be your friend there was a requirement form.
You said you knew a guy who was once depressed.
He was not dramatic, no probably just sad and stressed,
But if you really knew anything about depression,
You would use this friendship as a lesson.
To better understand is really what you needed,
And if you wanted to make my sadness worse, congrats you succeeded.
This is not just a poem to spill out my heart,
It is a suicide letter, good work on your part.