Lost Love

Chapter 17

"What are you doing here and who let you in?"
After I had gotten over my initial shock, I managed to compose myself and say something.
"Baby I did, I figured you would need answers to the questions swirling in your mind and since he showed up, there was no need to chase him away" dad replied
Well there was no way I could argue with that, I really needed answers and explanations. Dad must know me so well.
"Well I'll leave you kids to it and baby if you need me, just call for me ok?
"Ok dad"
When my dad left to go upstairs, I looked at Chris who looked worse than I appeared this morning. His eyes were really red combined with his swollen face. He looked like he hadn't slept at all. His clothes seemed like he just threw whatever he saw on. I kinda felt sorry for him until I remembered he was the one that cheated not me. I should be the one feeling bad.
"Ummm, I'll just drop this in my room and come back downstairs" I said pointing to the shopping bag I was holding. Without waiting for an answer I turned on my heel and proceeded to climb the stairs when I changed my mind.
"Why don't we have this conversation up in my room?" That suggestion might have been stupid but I don't trust myself to be calm when we commence the conversation and the last thing I want is for my dad to be involved in this.
He nodded and followed me silently. I motioned for him to sit on my bed while I took my study chair. Taking a deep breath I asked my first question calmly but I was far from it
"Why? Why Chris? Why did you do it?"
He kept his gaze on his shoes like it was the most fascinating thing in the world. After a while when he didn't reply, I got mad, the anger and hurt from yesterday evident in my voice as my tears streamed down my face
"Answer me Chris. Was I not enough for you? What is in her that I don't have? Did you even like me not to even mention love? Was it planned? You planned with her to break up with Daniel right? Say something goddammit"
At my sudden outburst he raised his head and I was surprised to see tears.
"C-c-charlie, I-I'm so s-sorry" was all he said before erupting into a wailing mess. As his sobs increased, I was at loss for what to do. Pushing back my anger, I took his head in my lap and rocked him. After minutes his sobs reduced to few hiccups here and there and he managed to get out "I'm sorry" every now and then.
When I was sure he was ok, I released him and he started to explain.
"Charlie, I know my explanations won't do much but please hear me out." He took a big breath and started with "It all started when Emily came to visit me......." he told me all about their first kiss; how Emily initiated it and how it led to sex and how she kept threatening him, how he had avoided Emily and how she kept on making advances towards him. He told me how he wanted to tell me the night of the party before my phone call with my dad and before I came back, Emily had started kissing him.
When he was done, I pondered over his words in my head.
I didn't know whether to trust him or not as he had broken the trust I had for him when I caught him kissing my best friend.
"Chris, its not so easy for me to believe it. Emily broke up with Daniel to be with you. She told me she loved you. Daniel begged me severally to talk to her and she was so adamant to listen. Seeing you with her just made me feel stupid. Here I was wanting to support her in her new relationship as a best friend is supposed to do not knowing the new guy is my boyfriend?? You guys have been at this for a whole year and you could not find an opportunity to tell me??? How do you expect me to believe you? How can I trust you again?? You guys even wore matching clothes to the dance; taking pictures and smiling at eachother when she had been so cold to me. Tell me, did you plan all that??? For me to find out and feel like a fool and you come begging me to forgive you and you expect me to forgive you easily??? Then what happens? You guys laugh at me after because I will take you back. It doesn't work like that Chris. I have feelings too Chris. You have been sleeping with my best friend for a year. I have never cheated on you and I never planned on doing that. But you willingly cheated on me Chris; she didn't force you to have sex with her, you had a choice and you chose to cheat. I can't do this anymore." By this time my anger had melted away to tears.
"Charlotte, I still love you and I always will. Please don't let this come between us. I am really sorry, find a place in your heart to forgive me please. Can we just start all over please?"
His eyes were still full with unshed tears and as much as I was hurt, I couldn't deny the fact that I still loved him. I loved him yes but could I trust him again? I don't think so. Anytime I look at me I just remember him kissing her. That's not something I can forget.
"I don't know, I'll think about it" I replied vaguely.
He stared at me for a long time before brushing his lips across mine softly, whispering I love you and walking out of my room.