Rise and Fall

3 - Epic, book-worthy beginnings.

When he literally caught me in his arms as I slipped over on the water that was dragged inside by a customer's umbrella, I could have sworn I didn't breathe for an eternity, and that all the blood from my heart literally seeped out of my arteries and onto the floor to blend in with the blessed rain. In that very second, his heart instantly wrapped itself around mine so tight that I didn't know how it would ever beat again without explicit help from his.

If I thought that the epically book-worthy and unrealistic beginnings of our relationship were life altering, it was nothing compared to how I loved him when I grew to actually know the sensitive, humble boy he was underneath all the obvious strength, minimal body fat and forest-canopy-green eyes that made my heart flutter and gave me wings to soar up to heights only he was ever worthy of occupying.

Ruben was equal parts gentle and strong, exuding more genuine confidence than I had ever known another person to possess in my whole life. He was so smart, even without trying, and he used it to challenge me in the best ways, which I desperately needed. And god, did he made me laugh. More than my dad and his awful puns and one-liners ever had, and that's saying something because my dad and his Dad Joke humour gets me every damn time.

More than all of that though, Ruben respected me. He was patient with me when I felt like I was losing my mind with everything going on at home, and he trusted me enough to make my own decisions, even when he knew I was making a colossal mistake. He understood me, and on the odd occasion when he didn't, he always worked so damn hard trying to.

Ruben was there in the hospital waiting for me when Madden was born because he knew I needed him just like Bree needed me. And he was there supporting me when she left within half an hour of me texting him, even though I told him not to come because my stepfather was losing his shit again, and because he lived at least an hour down the mountain by foot from my house. He made the journey in just over thirty minutes, sprinting the whole way up that torturous hill in the middle of the night.

He was always there when I needed him. He was always there when Madden needed him. He would even bring me formula and nappies whenever we ran out because we had no money or my parents were too drunk to drive and I couldn't leave him to go get some from the supermarket, making sure to add a tub of vegan ice-cream and block of chocolate for me, and a packet of candies for my siblings to his shopping list, just because he was that attentive and considerate.

I never really gave much thought to myself. I was always too focussed on looking after and protecting my mum and the kids because there was no one else around to keep us all safe, except maybe the neighbour up the road who used to call the police whenever the screaming got too loud late at night. Being kind and compassionate towards myself was something entirely foreign to me. But Ruben was an excellent teacher, and he taught me how. He listened and talked to me about what was happening at home, and he kept me focussed on what was important, like school, which was probably the only thing I ever had any true control of at the time. A good education was my only ticket out of the mess I was born into, and the only way I would ever be able to secure my family's freedom.

How I was able to ever win his heart is beyond me, even to this day. He was all grace and benevolence, and I was just a defective girl from a messed-up family, barely keeping herself together at the best of times. I didn't deserve him, but I was so thankful to have him, otherwise I don't know what would have happened to me, Madden or anyone else living in my house. He simply accepted why I did the things I did, and he just supported it, without question. He knew my family always needed to be my first priority over him, and he didn't once take issue with it.

He was good for me, where Camden definitely wasn't.

I met Camden at school in a Visual Art class at the end of Year 11, a few months after Bree had left for good. He was a new student, transferring in for his final year of high school after being expelled for a mixture of vandalism and fighting at his previous one. I knew none of that at the time, though it wouldn't have mattered. Most of my friends were always messing up a little at school doing something stupid and childish, so trouble didn't really frighten me anymore. I stayed out of it myself though, because I knew the belting that would come from it if I ever got caught and I wasn't about to risk my scholarships.