Twenty-three

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I look at you now and I want this forever

I might not deserve it but there's nothing better

Don't know how I ever did it all without you

Paris in rain ~ Lauv

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Everybody has that one person in their life where they would do anything for, for me that person was Shawn, he was the person I loved the most in this world, he gave me a reason to wake up each day for the past few months, sure I would never admit that in his face because I am too proud of myself to do that but I learned the hard way if you don't tell anyone how you feel they will just leave you without any warning. For me it is nothing different now, it has been weeks since Shawn called or texted me, I knew he needed time to think about everything that I told him and how I treated him the past few months but I never knew it could take this long to make his mind up about me.

"Amy where is Emely, she said I should come by as fast as I could and I am here now." Amy hands me a paper and I look confused at her. "What is going on with you, why can't you tell me where Emely is?" Amy shrugs her shoulders so I open the paper and read it, I hold my hand in front of my mouth so I couldn't make a weird sound when I started to sob in front of Amy. "You are not kidding about this right? You are real with me?" She nods her head and hands me a tissue. "You really want to do that for her, she has been talking about that for the past few weeks, she has been running my door over all because of you not being as happy as she was about her idea, I did get you because it is still so early to start to do everything but you guys are made for each other so I did get her point."

"I wanted to tell it to you first because she cares about you more than she tells you, every little thing she did before we made it official was all 'what would Sabrina think' or 'will she leave me when I tell it to her'. It was weird you know to be with a girl who didn't knew herself that she fell for the same gender but it was the best experience ever to see her slowly falling in love with me, she was so jealous of you because I asked about you but that was all because I wanted to know how you were as a person why she cared that much about you."

"So that is also the reason why I am going to tell it to you first, do you think I am an impulsive person for doing this because if I am please tell me because I don't want to be like that, I really want this relationship to work out so if that means asking your permission first than I have no problem to ask that every time I have this crazy ideas that make her so happy." I take Amy her both hands in my hands and try to find her eyes so she is sure I really mean what I am going to tell her, I really need her to know how I feel about all of this because I do am happy for them.

"I am going to be honest with you, sure it is all quick what you guys do but that is Emely her thing, she was always like this when we were younger, she wanted to do everything in her life but that made me love her more each day, she was the wild one of the two of us, she made my life pretty cool as you can say. And she met you and when I saw her face when she was around you I knew that you were the one for her, you look with so much love at her when she is not watching you, I see how happy you guys are around each other and that makes me so happy."

"It is what you deserve both, I know Emely never had the best life as everybody thinks she had, she has been trough hell fighting everything going on in her life and still caring about other people around her, I trust you that you are not going to break her heart and her, I trust you with such a big thing so please don't hurt her or I will hurt you and I don't know how I will do that but be sure I will find a way to make you hurt as much as you hurted her." Amy nods her head and I give her the paper back, such a little paper can change so much for someone, it can change so many things in someone their life. I had one to a few days ago and it also changed my life.

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