Acrophilia

XL - resilient

But the next morning has something prepared for him he was not expecting, something that gets in his way and he doesn't know how to deal with. Because when he gets there, Jinyoung isn't in the room anymore.

"Oh, patient Park Jinyoung was transferred today. They decided he needed more psychiatric help." A nurse that he knows tells her.

"Where... where did he go?" He asks, his voice trembling.

"I am not allowed to tell you, but even if I did, they don't allow visitors. I'm sorry," the nurse says and Jaebeom's heart sinks.

"Why... how..." he mumbles.

"I'm sorry," the nurse says sympathetic.

Jaebeom cannot believe his luck, or how things are just unfolding for him. How's it possible that even when he wants to hold on to Jinyoung, something else gets in the way? How's it that he cannot reach him when he's now awake and alive? Jaebeom doesn't understand the irony of it, he doesn't appreciate it.

He doesn't stay to hear the nurse, he cannot handle her pitiful eyes, so he just walks away, confused, lost and hopeless. How is he supposed to find Jinyoung?

Jaebeom walks aimlessly, not really thinking of anything, just feeling resentful and lost, and if he was pulled by something bigger, he ends up at the same bridge he met Jinyoung. Like he always does. Whatever is pulling him there, Jaebeom wants to tell it to stop messing with him.

"It's not funny," he whimpers. "I just... want to be with him. Why is it like this?" He asks to the blowing wind, to the deep waters under the bridge. "Why can't I have him?"

Jaebeom doesn't cry, there aren't anymore tears in him, but he feels so empty and confused. He feels stupid for thinking they were fated one day.

"Fated my ass," he mumbles. "Fate is just laughing in my face."

And as he thinks like that, he starts getting angry because it's not fair. He's gone through a lot already. He's gone through things he cannot even explain to anyone, doesn't he deserve some mercy?Doesn't he deserve to be able to love the person he wants? Why are they taking away what he wants?

"I'm not giving up. Fuck you, fate or whatever!" He says, breathing hard, getting angrier. His hands grab the rail so tight his knuckles go white, yet he feels he should break the concrete. "Fuck you!" He screams, at the tops of his lungs, to the vast horizon. "FUCK YOU!" He screams even louder, leaning over and letting go all of his anger, all of his frustration.

Life might want to take away what is most precious to him. Life tried to take his mother but he didn't give up, he waited for her even when it was hard, even when he didn't know if that was the right thing todo. He waited.

And he'll wait for Jinyoung, too. He's not giving up on the boy he loves or on his feelings.

Jaebeom leaves that bridge to go home, but he'll be back. The next day and the day after that, he goes back to the bridge every day. To the exact point where he saw Jinyoung for the first time, always around sunset. He doesn't give up on himself and his life, he finishes school and his project, he helps his mother, he hangs out with his friends and continues everything like normal, but he never forgets Jinyoung. He goes back to the bridge, always hoping he'll find him again.

Serendipity. Fate. Happenstance. Whatever it is, he'll encounter Jinyoung again.

Days go by, weeks, and like that almost two months. Winter has passed by with all its festivities, but Jaebeom hasn't seen Jinyoung again, he doesn't know how the younger is doing, if he recovered or if he's still in some psychiatric ward. He truly hopes that if Jinyoung was taken away from him it was for the best, so the younger is getting help to get better, to find some motivation to live. If they are apart right now, it better be worth it.