Acrophilia

XII: thankful

          "Do you need to hold for a little longer?" Jinyoung asks, his eyes are kind and soft as he stares at Jaebeom and how he slowly pulls himself together. Carefully, he wipes the path the tears of the older left with his thumbs, keeping a warm smile that's everything but judging, henceforth, everything that Jaebeom needs in that moment.

He broke down in front of a stranger and it's extremely embarrassing standing up again in front of him. Moreover, Jaebeom is still holding the younger, not as tightly as before, but his arms around still around his frame and he feels reluctant to let go. Honestly, Jaebeom is still doing poorly, he feels unstable and shaken so the comfort from Jinyoung's presence and warmth are addictive and necessary. He doesn't feel ready to let go, yet he's aware every second that passes and he doesn't let go will make it more embarrassing later.

"Just a bit longer," Jaebeom accepts in a whisper, lowering his head to avoid looking Jinyoung in the eyes.

The younger doesn't reply verbally, instead he pulls Jaebeom closer so he's resting his face in Jinyoung's chest. The older lets himself be manhandled and just leans on the other man, making sure Jinyoung won't slip and fall backwards or any other tragic outcome. He keeps Jinyoung anchored and he keeps Jaebeom in one piece.

There are countless thoughts in his head, mostly about his mother and wondering if Jinyoung is right, if she might wake up soon. Another big part of his mind thinks how it is that he ended up opening up to Jinyoung, clinging to him and even crying. Is it because it was Jinyoung the one in front of him or is it just because he had been bottling it up for so long that he just exploded, regardless of whom was in front of him?

The latter makes more sense for Jaebeom.

Regardless of the reason, Jaebeom has to accept it helped him enormously. Jinyoung held him and kept all the pieces of him together even as Jaebeom shattered in his arms. The older knows he's full of cracks all over, but no piece is missing and that's thanks to the other man. He feels lighter, like there's actual space in his lungs for air and he can finally breathe in without feeling like he was suffocating, so that's definitely something.

Jaebeom starts to feel more relaxed and at the same time exhausted in that way you start to fall asleep anywhere. His eyelids are heavy and Jinyoung's body warmth is soothing and relaxing, so he feels himself starting to drift off, which isn't surprising after he let go of so much so fast. Jinyoung's soft caresses on his back and hair are not helping Jaebeom stay awake.

"I think I should get going," Jaebeom comments, pulling back carefully because he's still reluctant and because sleep is making him slow like a sloth.

The sunset is over, all around them is dark and although he isn't aware of the track of time in Jinyoung's arms and with his world falling apart, he can assume it's pretty late. Furthermore, it's time to pull apart and stand on his own.

"Are you okay now?" Jinyoung asks, his hands on Jaebeom's shoulders keeping him in place.

"Not okay, but better," Jaebeom answers honestly. There's no way for him to be all right in his current situation, and although he would normally keep the truth to himself, Jinyoung's already seen what big of a mess he is right now, so there's no point in lying.

"As long as you don't get in any accident on your way back," Jinyoung comments still smiling in that reassuring way that helps Jaebeom feel stronger than he is in that moment.

"Or you," Jaebeom points out and without asking anything, he just firmly grabs Jinyoung by his waist and lifts him, taking him away from the rail and making him land softly on his feet.

Jinyoung lets out a surprised scream, grabbing Jaebeom's shoulders tighter, but when he lands his laughter is joyful and so amused.

"I felt like a ballerina for a second," the younger laughs. "I should've given up all my other dreams and pursued ballet."