Paper Hearts ♡ Harry Styles AU

27

It's been a week since the incident and I've been distracting myself and avoiding everyone who crosses my path. I haven't talked to Kellan or any of my brothers, even my parents who have been trying so hard to cheer me up. They treated me to a shopping spree which, of course, I didn't refuse, but I wasn't satisfied with everything that I've bought.

I stared at the paper bags in the rear view mirror, mentally computing how much money I wasted on useless stuff I saw at the mall. I bought a cork board to organize the notes sticking on my desk, a box of colored highlighters, new curtains for my bedroom, a black jacket, a Jessie J CD, plum-colored lipstick and new laces for my sneakers (three different colors to be specific).

I kind of regret buying the box of highlighters because I had another one at home. I guess I could distribute it to my brothers for future use.

Kellan and Cindy bought me an extra ticket to a McFly concert but told them that I needed to finish my design proposal the night of the show. I wasn't a big fan of the band either so I told them to let Jayden watch since Tom Fletcher is his idol.

I don't eat as much as I used to and the sight of oily food makes me sick. My last full meal was the other night (which I threw up before I went to sleep, by the way), when mom had her friends over for dinner and I was forced to mingle with their teenage daughters, who were inexplicably annoying. All they ever talked about were celebrities, gossip and boys. I hate boys. I was tempted to tell them that boys would only cheat on them and break their hearts, but I kept quiet and smiled like I was enjoying the conversation.

I learned that each girl had their own story about their current relationships. The first girl, who was the youngest, seemed like she was bored with her boyfriend, like she was expecting more from the relationship. The second girl was having the time of her life because her boyfriend was the son of a CEO. She gets to stay at their huge apartment all the time and he gives her expensive things like necklaces and earrings. The third girl was my favorite because her boyfriend is also her best friend. She was my favorite because I got to relate to her the most. But I also envied her because they were in good terms. When they asked me about my love life, I simply said, "I don't have one, sorry." They frowned at me and I shrugged my shoulders, not saying anything else.

I ignored everyone, but Liam and Calum were exceptions, though. They've been nothing but nice to me these past few days, especially Calum. When he found out about what happened, he called everyday to ask how I was but all he got were short answers like "I'm fine" or "I'm okay" which resulted to him cutting the conversation short.

Mister Germond wasn't a big fan of my latest design proposal for the September issue, he said that it was too dark and anger was written all over it. He told me that he would save it for the October issue so he wouldn't hurt my feelings. I hated the design as well, but what else could I do? My life isn't full of unicorns and rainbows right now.

"Get some rest, Sidney. I'll let my assistants finish your paperwork for the rest of the day." Mister Germond said. I nodded in response, although I know for a fact that I wouldn't be able to rest anyway.

"Do you need a ride home? Cheryl and I are going out to lunch and we can drop you off." Liam suggested as I passed by his cubicle.

"I'm okay," I answered softly.

"You always say that you're okay." He sighed.

"It's better than saying that I'm not, because really, I'm not okay at all, Liam." I snapped.

His eyes widened and raised his arms up in defense, "Sorry, I didn't mean to offend you. I'm just trying to help, make you feel better somehow."

I sighed and slumped down my chair, cracking my neck left and right to relieve the building tension between Liam and I. Cheryl knocked and asked if everything was okay and I responded by spinning my chair to turn away from both of them.

"Call us if you need anything, Sid." Liam said and left the room.

When I turned back to my original position, I opened my laptop and my e-mail suddenly received multiple notifications. Of course it was all from Harry. Every subject had different titles, but most of them started with "sorry" and "please reply." Before I decided to delete them all at once, I opened the very last message which had no subject.

Subject: [no subject]

From: harrystyles01@gmail.com

I don't think I've ever felt this kind of pain before. It hurts emotionally and physically. I've been pulling myself down every single day, regretting what I did to you. I don't sleep at home often, I've been warned about five times because I keep falling asleep at the office. And my work is affected too, I haven't had a stable client since the day after the incident.

My uncle nearly kicked me out of the building because I picked a fight with one of the new guys at the lobby. I didn't mean to, but he was standing in my way so I pushed him and ended up hurting his arm.

I hate this. I hate that you're not talking to me, I hate that I know how you feel. I hate how much I miss you, and I hate how much I can't live a day without thinking about you.

I was angry when you didn't tell me about the damn trip, and my anger got the best of me and made me do bad things. Yes, I did have sex with her, but just know that it didn't last because I knew it was wrong. I overreacted and things got out of hand.

I'm so sorry, forgive me. Please talk to me.

P.S. I'm not the father.

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A/N: Short-ish chapter? Heeey, at least I updated! Thank you so much for 11k reads!!! And sorry for not updating daily, you already know my excuse so :P

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