As Darkness Falls

13

Sara stopped in front of Mary, and gave her a cop stare, just to see what she did. The cop stare was a deliberate, suspicious, meaningful look that was supposed imply Sara knew what someone had done, whatever that was, to make them start acting all uneasy, and so give their guilty conscience away. That was the cop stare, and Sara tried it on Mary, but it didn’t really work. Not when Mary actually was guilty, Sara supposed, at least of failing her own daughter. Not when Mary was guilty, and Sara knew for sure that she was, and not when Mary could probably guess that Sara knew, as well. With all that going on, the cop stare didn’t really work. Mary probably just assumed that any weird looks Sara was giving her were just everyday anger and hostility, not a sign that Sara knew something incriminating.

The cop stare wasn’t really working, and there wasn’t much point doing it, so Sara decided to stop being clever, and just do what Zoe had asked her to.

“I’m Sara,” she said. “Zoe’s girlfriend.”

Mary bit her lip, and looked uncertain for a moment, as if there was something wrong with what Sara had just said. At first, Sara assumed Mary didn’t like hearing the word girlfriend. And perhaps she didn’t, Sara thought, but it couldn’t really be a surprise, since Zoe had mentioned Sara on the phone. Sara waited, waiting to see how Mary answered, ready to be offended if she needed to be offended, but Mary didn’t say anything back. After a moment Sara wondered if the world girlfriend was actually what the problem. Perhaps it wasn’t, she suddenly thought. Perhaps Mary wasn’t bothered by the word girlfriend, but was hesitating over Zoe’s name instead. Over Zoe’s fake name, which Sara had just said.

Mary was standing there, uncertainly, almost as if the name Zoe was confusing. Even though she must know Zoe was using a different name now. Surely Mary knew that, Sara thought. Zoe couldn’t have forgotten to say.

Perhaps Zoe had. On the phone the other day, Sara remembered, Zoe had just said it was her. Not a name.

Sara suddenly wondered if that was the problem.

“You know who Zoe is, don’t you?” Sara said, after a moment.

Mary stood there, thinking about that too, and Sara wasn’t sure why this was so complicated. Sara waited too, since she didn’t have much choice. She waited, almost hoping Mary would do something thoughtless or confrontational. Something to give Sara an excuse to be angry, and take Zoe away from here.

Mary thought, and after a while her silence had gone on too long for it to be about anything other than Zoe’s name. If it had been the word girlfriend, Sara thought, Mary would have reacted by now, and if it had been actual confusion over who Zoe was, if Mary truly didn’t know, then she would have asked by now, too. The only reason Mary was taking so long was because she deciding whether to make a fuss about names, Sara thought. Because she was deciding whether to pretend she didn’t know who Zoe was.

Sara waited, hoping Mary would. Hoping to have an excuse to lose her temper. Then she made herself calm down. Being angry right now wouldn’t help Zoe. Mary thought a little longer, almost as if she was cold-bloodedly deciding, so Sara just stood there, and waited, making herself be calm.

Sara could wait. She could stand in one place for hours. She had the trick of waiting patiently, because she’d had to learn, at work. She told herself that, told herself to keep her composure. She was a cop, and serene, and Mary shouldn’t be able to bother her with silly games. Sara could stand there all day if that was what she needed to do, so she did just that. She waited, and looked around. At wet grass, and low grey clouds, and at bare trees leafless for winter. And perhaps because Sara was just standing there patiently, eventually Mary decided to be reasonable.

“I know who you mean,” Mary said in the end. “Hello. I’m her mother.”

Her mother, Sara noticed, but not Zoe’s mother. Mary was very carefully acknowledging Sara was in the right place, while equally carefully not making up her mind about choosing either name.

It was actually quite cleverly done, Sara thought, even if it wasn’t really worth all that fuss.