Family Ties | JJK

12: Sweet Dreams

**

You lay awake for a while, thinking over everything, feeling completely safe and secure- It was indescribable. You couldn't wrap your head around it. First, Jungkook hadn't pushed you, like all the times before he had challenged you to get his answer, but this time, after your broken voice had explained why you didn't want his bed, he hadn't pushed you. And then, secondly, he must have caught your inner turmoil, for light as a feather he had kissed your forehead and wished you goodnight, something that had never happened, ever, since the night you lost your mother.

Truly the moment he kissed you, you had needed that so badly. The last bed you had slept in, had been your mothers. And the last bed you slept in, was the bed you had been ripped out of and dragged away as your mother's life was taken.

So for you, the problem was the deep, emotional grief you still held, which you couldn't have explained to Jungkook, you had to keep it buried within you.

Jungkook must have laid similar to you, completely awake, thinking, for after a while he speaks from in his bed. In the darkness, you can't see each other, so when he speaks you keep your eyes closed and just listen to his soft, soothing voice.

'Y/N, there's one thing I don't understand.'

'You will never understand,' it's not harsh, it's the truth. You don't trust people. It was just how you were raised, protect yourself to ensure survival when the wolves around you would pounce on any sign of weakness- And you had learned from the most vicious and successful Mob boss in Seoul.

But Jungkook doesn't know all of that yet, but you're sure he's getting there, you see his eyes as another piece of the puzzle connects, your slip earlier in the diner, for example, Kang Sun was a fearful name you shouldn't have mentioned.

Turning slightly you look up to where you know Jungkook lays.

'Jungkook, please stop trying to figure me out, I'll be gone soon, stop thinking about me, stop asking questions you don't want to know the answers to.'

He doesn't pause to even consider your words, 'You're wrong Y/N. I won't let you go, you need safety, it's too dangerous for you with those men...'

You almost smile at his sentiment, but when had your life ever not been dangerous?

'And,' Jungkook carries on, 'I do want to know the answers, there's something about you- I've never felt like this before.'

And the truth is, you have never felt like this either... And neither of you are quite sure what that exact feeling is, but it is exciting and scary all at once.

'What don't you understand?' You whisper into the night.

'Don't be angry with me,' this time you really do smile at him, 'I worked out what happened to you... Your father sold you to Kang Sun, the biggest Mob boss in Seoul, his reputation precedes him, I knew straight away.'

It's true, all true. But hearing Jungkook say it sounds worse in some way, that evil story coming from his kind and protective mouth.

'Well done, you win, everything you said is true.' Your tone is flat.

'Y/N please don't push me away, I just don't understand why he wants you back so much, he has all his men hunting you like dogs, even using the police and news... Why you?'

How to answer a question like that without giving away your deepest secret? This wasn't even Kang Sun's influence, this was a secret you would take to the grave, by your own choice.

The answer, your secret, was the reason your father sold you, the reason your mother and sister were murdered, the reason Kang Sun kept you so close. You couldn't share it with Jungkook. Your skills: Hyperthymesia, Eidetic, and Photographic memory. They made you want to end it all sometimes, your mind a supercomputer that Kang Sun had abused for fifteen years.

It made you hate yourself, blame yourself for everything, the only way to live was to keep moving forward, to not stop or allow the grief to drown you, so you couldn't let that all out to Jungkook, no matter his insistence.

You whisper into the darkness, glad you can't see each other in your positions, 'There are things I will never talk about, let's just say there was a special reason Kang Sun locked me away every night and never let me go. He would have rather killed me than let me escape, I can never go back. My life would be in danger.'

Jungkook stares at the ceiling processing your words. In his mind, he considers what it could be... Secrets, marriage, love, blackmail and lots more before he discards them all. He has a sinking suspicion that whatever the reason was for your importance he would never be able to guess it.

But, with every question being answered, slowly he was beginning to realise his pull to you was maybe not solely his curiosity. Because even as he began to know you, the feelings in his chest didn't go away.

He had thought, that with his mind at ease, the mystery solved, he would find peace and be able to finally walk away.

He was beginning to think he wouldn't walk away now. These emotions you stirred up inside him were new and scary, and he could only pray you felt the same. In all his life he had never been able to pursue a relationship, as BTS it never seemed possible. But you made him think differently, gave him crazy hope.

Yes, he knew it wouldn't be easy. But Jungkook had never been afraid of a challenge.

'Good night Y/N.' He whispers into the night, low, almost a murmur. But still, you heard it, for a soft voice floats up to him in response.

'Sweet dreams.'

Jungkook went to sleep easily that night, for once, and dreamt of you.

**