iris . vkook

seventy nine

"I threatened him with a gun, but he stepped forward and I got spooked! I didn't actually mean to press the fucking trigger!"

I looked at him with furrowed eyebrows, widened eyes and a scrunched up nose, glaring through disbelief.

"You're unbelievable." I shook my head, "I have no words."

He shrugged, shoving the clip into the gun with a huff.

"Why is it that every time I'm on duties, you have to fuck up?" I mumbled to myself, "anyone would think you want me to save you."

"Yes, because I love the embarrassment of my brother's boyfriend saving my ass!" He hissed.

"Well it sure fucking happens a lot!"

"Where is that rat?" A man muttered, heavy footsteps following his voice.

I took a quick peek over the wall, taking in his appearance before holding back the urge to smash Jong-in's face into the ground a hundred times.

"You look really angry."

"Can't think why. It's not as if you shot a member of our rival gang." I said simply, glaring at him with every ounce of hatred in my body.

"I'm sorry." He looked down, disheartened, "I thought I'd call you, since you're kinda only who I have and can rely on."

"Fuck, it's fine. Ignore me." I shook my head, "it's not an issue, I'm just in a bad mood."

"Why?"

"I'll explain later. Let's finish this up."

---------------F L A S H B A CK OVER--------------------

Jong-in stirred his coffee, spinning dissolving sugar around the chestnut-brown ocean. His bloodied fingertips touched the cup, lifting the porcelain up to his bust lip and sipping carefully. He set the container back down upon the saucer, the floral print disappearing under the object as he sighed contently, licking over his tender lip with a flinch.

I was still as furious as before, my anger as hot as the boiling water that sat in the cutesy teapot beside me, steam flying out of the spout and heating the air around us. I fell into a daze, every sound becoming white noise as I focused upon my sore knuckles, other injuries throbbing and pulsing in a painful heat. I stared at the rips, wondering if I'd be able to watch the mulberries bloom under my skin, beside blossom pinks and leafy hues which would develop and take over purple after a week. 

I jutted my bottom lip out absentmindedly, knowing that my hands looked this way as a result of me hitting someone's face until they passed out. Perhaps I really was a monster.

They tell you that violence is never the answer, but why did I respond to their questions with my hurtful actions? Why did I shoot the gun? Why did I break his nose?

Was I really just protecting Jong-in? Was I even protecting myself?

When I walk past civilians, do they feel a pang of fear in their heart? Do I intimidate mature teenagers, who saunter with their friends, cowering as they shuffle past me?

Do I ever alarm Taehyung? 

Has he ever had doubts about his safety, as he dabs antiseptic solutions on my wounds and bandages my hands? Does he ever turn over on a nighttime, looking at my sleeping face and sigh sadly because I'm not hurting somebody?

Does he ever look at me, fear flashing in his eyes, mouth dry and hands shaking? Does his heart speed up at the sight of me? Is he tentative whenever I'm cutting vegetables, wondering if he's the next thing the knife slices?

Does he ever look at me the way I'd look at my father? Watching through wary eyes as I walk around, flinching whenever I swear?

Has he ever considered an escape route? Has he ever confided to Jimin, or maybe Yoongi, that he's scared of me and if he could stay at theirs?

"Fucking hell, Jeon!" Jong-in said, his voice slowly loudening and becoming more clear.

"What?"

"I thought you'd gone deaf or some shit. I've been trying to snap you out of your daze for about five minutes." He shook his head.

I blinked once, twice, a few times and scratched lightly below my eye. I recognised my surroundings, the lively chatter of the local café swimming through the atmosphere. I flicked my eyes down to the table, his coffee half-drunk while my tea continued to steam, untouched.

"Oh, 'm just tired." I smiled, picking up the milk and pouring it into my drink.

He laughed lightly, holding a fingertip to his lip afterwards. 

"Being apart from Taehyung must really fuck you up, huh?" He replied, taking a slight sip as he looked at me through somewhat wise eyes, the same ones that Taehyung would wear when I'd confessed that I'd fucked up (usually when he didn't believe that Yeontan was the one who broke the plate).

"It does." I laughed half-heartedly, rubbing at my forehead.

"I wish I had someone to care about me, the way you care about Tae. You know, somebody to come home to and somebody to wake up to." He smiled dozily, "just wish I had someone to call mine."

"Well, maybe if you stopped hanging out with your brother-in-law, you'd find somebody."

His head snapped up from where he was watching caffeine swirl around, staring at me with wide eyes.

"Brother-in-law?!"

"Well, not yet." I grinned, "I haven't proposed, but I'm going to."