iris . vkook

sixty five

예순 다섯

Jeongguk's PoV;

Had it been any another regular hospital, the nurses and doctors would've pinned me down to the bed and ordered me to remain in my room - confining me to a tiny, uncomfortable as fuck bed. However, this was not a regular hospital because regular hospitals couldn't treat criminals, and if they did, they had to tell the police.

I definitely did not want to spend time behind bars, because I would have plenty of life sentences adding to the shackles that bound my ankles to the ground.

This 'hospital' was simply an old, once-abandoned hospital that one of our gang members had renovated - chasing his dream of becoming a doctor. He'd gone off the rails for a while, going from selling drugs so he could pay his funds for university, to being addicted to it. Eventually, he'd pulled himself off of it thanks to us, and in return we got free medical care should we ever need it. 

It didn't treat people with serious diseases. It wasn't really a hospital, just a few nurses and doctors who knew how to treat knife wounds, remove bullets from skin and pick glass from flesh. Their speciality was treating injuries that were common in a gang.

I'd told (ordered) Jong-in to take Taehyung home after he fell asleep in my arms. It's not that I didn't want to be around him, I needed some time alone. I knew that if I fell asleep, my nightmares would overcome me and Taehyung would wake to his soulmate having a fit, crying like I was trying to fill a pool and shaking like a leaf.

He didn't need to see that.

I'd also told Jong-in that he could stay over at the house (since Taehyung was staying over at mine), as long as he slept on the sofa. I'd mentioned that he should prepare for Taehyung to kick off at him, so whether Jong-in accepted my invitation or not didn't particularly concern me.

Thanks to the illegitimacy of the hospital, I was able to slip from the room, box of Malboro clutched between my fingertips and Ten's hoodie covering my torso. 

No forms acted as a barrier to my escape, allowing me to slump to a familiar graveyard that was near the gang hospital. Which made sense, since a lot of people who were admitted to it died as a result of their injuries, being buried beside their friends in a stone-covered field nearby.

Ignoring the other visitors, I kept my head down low as I tiptoed to him. Well, his space. 

People rarely came to see him since they didn't know him well. Jay never opened up to anyone apart from me.

Crashing down on the hard ground, I sighed deeply as I re-read his inscriptions. Annoyingly, I couldn't read many things, but I knew what every word of his gravestone meant. I could read his name and I could write it. 

"Hey, man." I spoke.

I knew he wasn't going to respond, since he was dead and nothing would ever change that. But I enjoyed the comfort of knowing that I was in his presence slightly, and this was as near to getting to him as I could.

"Life isn't going that great, in all honesty."

"I got shot, in the shoulder. Fuck, dude, I don't know how you withstood that poker face when you got shot. You took a bullet for me and I could never take one for you." I sighed, exhaling smoke, "so, I took one for somebody else. I hope you're proud of me, becoming a mini-you."

"The memories of father are coming back. No one else but you could calm me down. That's what is terrifying. The thought of Taehyung attempting to calm my breathing down and failing. I don't want him to feel like he's doing something wrong."

"Things are great between us, don't get me wrong. He's lovely and amazing, and I think that he's the definition of love. But, I can't tell him about my father. I want to, but my body won't allow me. I will do it, I'll fight against the pain. I'll be strong just like you."