"You not ready yet? Bitch you got everybody out here waitin'!"
"Lala, I can't do it."
"What!?"
Lala came in the room and closed the door. She looked pretty with her maid of honor dress on. Even though she nagged me about the colors I chose. At the end of the day it was my wedding, not hers and I had to constantly voice that to her.
"I've been planning this wedding for two months! You are gonna walk down this aisle if I gotta drag ya ass."
"It just doesn't feel right without ...."
We both fell silent. Burying my brother wasn't in my plan of life at all. I promised I would always take care of them. I failed him. I failed Ma May. I've been in a state of depression for some time now, trying to find ways to cope. And even if I did find a way, it still wouldn't be the same. I had a connection with both Toni and Mali, but Mali was my baby. He had such a good heart and such a warm spirit. He didn't deserve what happened to him. He didn't deserve any of this. He should be here, not me. And I can't bring him back.
"Zhi, this is your day. Do you think Maliek would want you to be in here sobbing about him?"
"I guess not. But I can't help thinking about what if he was here with me."
"He would probably be cussing you out for ruining your makeup."
"What if Ramel changed his mind?"
"Ramel loves you, he will never change on you."
"What if I can't be a good wife? I clearly couldn't be a good sister."
Lala rolled her eyes then came over and shook me by my shoulders. I pushed her hands off of me and looked at her like she was crazy.
"I wanted to slap you but I don't want you walking down the aisle with my hand print on your cheek."
"And why the fuck would you do that to begin with?"
"Because you're clearly out of it. Ramel loves you, more than you could ever imagine. Toni loves you and Mali adored you. You didn't fail anyone. Life just so happened to take a turn for you. But look at where you are now. Happy and about to marry the love of your life. It can't get any better than that."
I smiled at her then kissed her cheek.
"I love you girl."
"Yeah I know."
I checked myself in the mirror one last time, then went to where everybody waited. The music started and I walked down the aisle to be united with my love. I thought about that day he walked into the shop. He took my breath away then just like he is right now. I got to the end of the aisle and grabbed Ramel's hands.
"Girl you know you fine." He whispered to me.
"Quit it." I said, starting to blush.
The pastor started his usual wedding routine but I honestly wasn't listening to him. I was too busy looking into Ramel's eyes as he was looking into mine. He gave me a wink and I knew right then that everything would be alright from here. And even if it isn't, as long as I am by his side he'll make sure that I'm safe.
I grabbed Ramel's hands tighter and lifted my head to say the words that will seal my happiness forever.
"I do."
************************************
"I love you Zharia."
"I love you too Ramel."
He kissed me tenderly then pushed me on the bed. I always knew I would be with Ramel, as his wife. Yet this feels so unreal. The wedding was unreal. The way he felt touching my skin was unreal. We've had our moments of tussling these sheets but this time was different.
YOU ARE READING
Drugs Love & Money (Book 1)
General Fiction*PLEASE COMMENT AND VOTE* Zharia has always had the short end of the stick. At a young age she took on the role of a provider because her own mother was too busy trading her innocence for a fix. That horrific memory made Zharia stray away from men...
