How to love - Markus x reader

Chapter nineteen

You stirred from your dream, and squinted against the morning light.

"Had good dreams?" Markus wrapped his arms around you gently, so you wouldn't fall off the small chair. You smiled, yeah, it was about you.

Before you could reply, a girl's angry voice sliced through the cold air,"Markus! Where were you the whole night?" North and Simon made their way towards the two of you, one was fuming while the other smiled calmly. Bless Simon.

Her gaze went to you, and her mouth opened,"Wait- You two weren't... Did you two-?" You blushed furiously and shook your head, while Markus laughed calmly,"Relax, North. It's nothing of that sort. I would never betray my girlfriend."

You almost choked on your saliva. Girlfriend? Since when? It felt like a heavy elephant was sitting on your chest, and your breathing felt heavy. You hated this feeling, that you wanted to scream at how North smiled at Markus, and his gaze at her full of love, something you wondered how it felt like, to have this intoxicating rush but never know.

Because he had never loved you, even after living with him for years. Carl had been the anchor, to hold Markus down. And when Carl died, Markus had left as fast as he came. Suddenly, your throat felt dry and your eyes became wet. I can't seem to stop crying nowadays. You blinked furiously, as Simon asked,"Are you alright, (Y/n)?"

"Yeah, I'm fine." You mumbled and got up, your hand going to the small chain around your neck.

"So what do we have plan for today?" You forced a laugh. But you could still feel Simon's worried gaze, even while North cheerfully announced that they were breaking into the Stratford tower. And when you went back to the small room with the other androids and tried to ignore that Markus and North were holding hands and laughing, the tears came easy.

"(Y/n)." Simon took a seat on a box, next to you. His eyes were blue with concern, and you wondered how Cyberlife got them to look like the ocean. Which was stupid, since androids didn't go to the beach. It was too bad, really. Simon would have looked perfect there.

"Yes?" You played nervously with your bag, zipping and unzipping it.

"Do you remember when I said you could tell me anything?" You nodded.

"Even about Markus." You flinched at his name, but Simon gripped onto your hand sincerely.

"I mean it, (Y/n). I know you two had a history together, and I can tell how much you love him and how much it hurts. I'm here for you, to listen about it." Now the tears came like a downpour, and the sadness felt like a hurricane raging inside your mind.

"Why are you so nice to me, Simon?" His smile turned sad, and he laughed softly.

"Because I've been hurt before too, by someone I loved a lot. So I know how it feels, (Y/n), to want to talk to someone about it but never have anyone who cares. And... I don't want you to end up like this, you know? I have all these scars that won't ever heal, no matter how much I try."

He took a deep breath, and let go of your hand. "I love you as a friend, (Y/n). And I don't want to see you hurt."

As he walked away, you wiped the tears and stared at his retreating figure. "Thank you, Simon." You whispered softly, even though you knew he couldn't hear.

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