Chapter 30: What You Feel Is Right

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I hung around Charlie for a little longer before going back home for dinner.

My mom and I were sitting at the dinner table. I was eating the carrots she put on my plate when she addressed me.

"How are things with Blaine?" I looked at her, swallowing before I answered.

"They're good, I'm taking her to Jasper's surprise party tomorrow." I said, grabbing another carrot with my fork.

"Isn't the party at her house?" She asked confused.

"Yeah but I'm her..date." I say with a smile.

"Okay but remember no drinking." She said in her strict voice.

"I know mom." I said, lazily putting the carrot in my mouth.

"Okay and no going into separate rooms-" My face scrunched up.

"Mom, are you trying to make me lose my appetite?" I said putting my hands to my ears.

"I'm just saying I know what a party scene looks like." I pushed my hands harder into my ears, shaking my head. Some things I just don't need to know. I shuddered. "Fine but we're talking more about this later." Oh great.

Silence remained so I finished my dinner before I started to fake-yawn.

"Getting tired, I should go on and head to bed." I said grabbing my plate. My mom gave me an amused look.

"So no dessert then?" How'd I forget about the cookies?

"You know I think bedtime could wait." I joked, sitting back down. I sulked in my seat. "Come on mom, do you really think I'm gonna drink?"

"Sometimes there's pressure and people feel the need to drink." She explained with a shrug. I rolled my eyes, smiling sheepishly when she caught me.

"I'll be good." I insisted. She grabbed my plate and went to the kitchen, coming back with a tray of cookies. I smiled and grabbed some. "Thanks mom." I said with my mouth full. I tried to hold in my laugh as I expected her to scold me but was surprised when she looked serious instead.

"I was talking to Dr. Carter today." She told me. I could feel my mood drop as I looked away from her. "He said he could help you find more comfortable contacts." She grabbed my hand that was on the table. I pulled my hand away, still not facing her. "I just don't want you to get too attached-" She said before I glared at her, feeling bad about it but refusing to drop it. I dropped the cookies back on the plate.

"I'm going to bed," I announced.

"I'm just worried that-"

"Just don't worry about it Mom." I said coldly before getting up and going upstairs. "It's not even any of your business." I muttered under my breath, hoping she didn't hear me yet at the same hoping she did.

I shut my door and shook my head, walking to my bed. I sat on it and put my head back, closing my eyes. Why did it matter so much? I took off my glasses and kept them tightly in my hand. I thought of calling Blaine and apologizing to my mom, but I fell asleep instead.

~~

When I woke up later, the sun was still down but there was a blanket over me. I got up still confused but memories of last night hit me. Feeling hurt and guilty, I grabbed my glasses (that were on the counter) and got out of bed and went to see my mom.

She was lying on the sofa, asleep. I put a blanket over her, feeling bad that she didn't sleep in her room and that I didn't apologize to her. I saw that I woke up two hours earlier than I should have so I went on the nearby couch and got comfortable. Hopefully if I wake up earlier than my mom, I could make her breakfast. I turned and faced the ceiling. Although I don't think burning anything would help me get back on her good side. I looked at her and apologized quietly before leaning my head on the small pillows. Sleep didn't come easy so I counted to somewhere around 256 before I finally fell back to sleep.

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