Finding My Puzzle Piece

Dreamweaver...

Katya's POV 

I am shaken awake by Trixie who is straddling my lap. "Did I really fall asleep?" I groan out as Trixie giggles -Fucking giggles- and nods. I rub my eyes sleepily before Trixie pokes me. "What is it princess?"

"I'm sorry daddy but dinner is nearly done and I was wondering if you could pretty please let my punishment finish." He says sweetly before showering my face with kisses. I'm confused for a moment until I feel the soft hair swat against my leg. 

"Oh I'm so sorry baby. I completely forgot!" I exclaim and pull him up as I stand and take him to the bedroom. I remove the plug and praise him for taking his punishment so well. 

Trixie's POV 

After dinner is finished I cuddle up to Katya on OUR bed in OUR room. That's so surreal. "Katya?" I whisper out looking at him, the bedside light casting shadows across his face. 

"Yes baby?" He responds as he strokes my face with one hand and pulls me in closer with the other. 

"I've been thinking about everything that's been happening. Adore and I. Bianca and you. Your mom. You and I. All of my bratty escapades. The fun we have. And I'm just so happy with how everything is turning out." I say and he pulls my face to his and kisses me deeply. 

When we part I start talking again. "I'm just scared bri. I feel like everything is going so good. Too good. Our lives are normally an absolute mess so the fact that everything is going so good is scary. I feel like something really bad is going to happen and I'm scared I'm going to lose you."

Katya grabs my face again and swipes at the tears on my face. "Everything will be okay princess. It has to be. We have to be." He kisses me again quickly before holding me close as I drift off to sleep, absolutely exhausted. 

Katya's POV

 I look at Trixie's face as he sleeps and my heart breaks. He looks dead tired and so uneasy. He's moving about the whole time he sleeps and at one point pushes me away before grabbing me and pulling me close again. 

Suddenly I notice tears covering his face as his breath quickens. "Trix babe." I shake his shoulder lightly but he doesn't wake up. I shake him harder and he still doesn't wake. When I go to shake him with a second hand his eyes snap open as he lets out a scream. 

He try's pushing away but I quickly scoop him up and rock him softly. "It's okay. Shhhh. I'm here" I soothe as I rub his back. He's saying 'please no' as if it was a mantra as he sobs loudly in my arms. The bedroom door flies open and Adore is standing there shortly followed by a tired looking Bianca.

Bianca's POV

I yawn softly as I heard Trixie I know that Adore is worried about him. I walk into the room Trixie's crying and Katya is holding him close. I had a feeling I knew what was going on. I think Trixie and I are both suffering. I walk over to Trixie. "Do you mind if I talk to Trixie? I promise we'll come back and he will be in one piece."

I see Trixie's eyes widen and I take his hand and squeeze it reassuringly. Katya nods and I pull Trixie up and ask him to follow me. I take him to the drag room walking over to the sewing machine that was set up for Trixie and me. 

"I wanted to talk to you but I also wanted to make you an outfit too. Everyone else has had one of my creations... I know you usually make your own, but I found this fabric that just screamed you."

I hand her the fabric and her eyes go wide. I smile seeing her light up at the pink fabric that sparkled. Trixie gives me her measurements and I start to make her outfit. 

"So... I know you've been having some nightmares. Nothing you say will go out of this room unless you say I can. It's kind of the reason why I was up tonight too.... "

Trixie bites his lip as I try to get him to work with me. Maybe if I get him to be a little more comfortable with me he will see that he could come to me if he felt like he couldn't talk to Katya. The more we work the more Trixie opens up.

"Bianca.... I keep having these nightmares that something happens to where Katya is taken from me... I keep having nightmares that things go horribly wrong..."

I walk over to Trixie laying my hand on his shoulder. I know that Trixie hasn't had the best of luck with love. I have the feeling that Trixie has abandonment issues. I hug him close. 

"Hey we can't control everything... but we can't be in constant fear either. Believe me its a lesson that I am going through as well. I also know that you've had so many of your past boyfriends just up and leave. Katya isn't like them he's always been his own person. I know he truly loves you for you. We all love you for you. We love Brian and we love Trixie. That's fucking saying something coming from me. I hate everyone!"

I feel Trixie push me and we share a good laugh as I finish his outfit. I notice he's squirming a bit in anticipation. I didn't tell Trixie I had already made him a new gown. I finish up the outfit and hand it to him. I see his eyes pop as I pull out another garment bag. I take the outfit I just made for him and give him the garment bag i had just pulled out. I see him run off and a squeal as I chuckle cleaning up and hanging Trixie's new outfit up. As I see Trixie coming out padded up in the gown I made him. 

"You look beautiful Trix."

I see Trixie twirling around in the gown to see the happiness on her face made me smile. I felt like a proud mother who was sending her child to the prom.

"Know that we all will be here for you. If we all stick together than we can make it through all the ups and downs."

I kiss the top of Trixie's head in a motherly way. I feel Trixie hug me close seeing the tears in her eyes. 

"I've never had people that have backed me up. I've always been a loner. I'm sure that you understand... No shade. People always have not been able to handle me... To have all this support... Kind of scares me because I'm afraid it will all be taken away. I couldn't handle that Bianca. It would shatter me..."

I rub his back knowing full well where he is coming from. I fight the same battle but I've been working on allowing myself to open up more to people since drag race. I know Trixie had worked on herself as well. I know from his own words that he said to me that his confidence was shattered after season 7. I had watched how he built herself up from there but he was still a little vulnerable. 

"I do understand Trixie. I know how your confidence was shattered after your season but you've worked your ass off to prove yourself to everyone. You're a fucking winner. You just need to believe it in your heart and your head. Believe me, I think we all learned lessons from drag race. But you can't be afraid to show your vulnerability. God knows we're not perfect."

I lift his chin to have me look him in the eyes. His tears fell more as I smile at him. I wanted him to laugh. I needed to make him laugh.

"I will never leave you queen! You're stuck with my filthy cunt ass. Deal with it!"

I see him giggle and I hug him tight. I think that we both share some similar ways. We are more alike than he thinks. I chuckle.

"I think we are more alike than you think... That's fucking scary!"

We chuckle as Katya and Adore make their way into the room. They both stop and gasp.

"You look fucking gorgeous Trixie!" 

I see Katya scoop Trixie up and kiss him passionately as Adore takes my hand. I squeeze his hand seeing him smile. I whisper hoping Adore doesn't hear me.

"We are a lot alike Trixie... don't let your light be dulled. Shine bright barbie girl."