What If | #Wattys2020

32.

Scott's POV

I knew I said I'd trust fate. But it didn't seem right. Even though destiny had guided me, with no doubts, directly to Melissa, the mess I had gotten myself into wouldn't magically disappear.

I spent days thinking about any possible options that would lead me not to marry Liza and to overall be happier.

I couldn't get Mel out of my head. It got bad at night. I knew I was obsessing over her, and I knew I was being crazy about it. We had only kissed twice, and twice had I initiated it. However, it seemed like a thousand on my mind, I couldn't help but replay them on my head all night long. The office was empty, I was the one supposed to close. Finish any pending business before leaving, organize the paperwork and make sure everything was on point for the next morning. As I did all that, my mind unconsciously drifted to the thought of her.

She was no more than fifty meters away from me. As simple as crossing the road. What would she be doing? I checked my watch and noticed how late it was, would she be asleep already? I remembered our conversation over the phone the night before, how she didn't know who I was. It hurt. It hurt even more when she didn't recognize my voice. I felt embarrassed when she hung up, the bitter feeling reminded me I shouldn't have called in the first place.

I focused back on the paperwork, mountains of documents piled on top of my desk. I sighed loudly as I started signing them one by one.

Forty eight signatures later, the sound of a roaring engine distracted me. I got up from my seat, every muscle in my body aching, begging for a soft spot to lay on and relax. I looked back at the black chair, swearing under my breath as I started feeling my buttcheeks again.

I peeked out of the window just to find a nice Mercedes on the street, it had just stopped. I enjoyed the silence as I curiously tried to distinguish the person riding it, a male.

Suddenly, the car's door opened. Laughter, and then, her. Her spectacular self waving goodbye at the mysterious person in the car. I surprised myself by worrying about her. Where had she been? It was almost three in the morning, and it was a school night. Who was that person in the car that made her face lift in happiness? Why was that person not me?

But I knew the answer to that. She couldn't be with me. Still, I couldn't stop my heart from aching, longing for her soothing words.

After walking around the desk staring at my feet for five whole minutes, I gazed back at her building. One sole light on, her room. I stared at the Starbucks coffee cup on my desk that had remained untouched since early in the morning. My dry lips felt attracted to it, instinctively. Tiredness was taking power of my body, making my thoughts a lot more confusing. In a blink of an eye, I had emptied the whole cup, that was now inside the trash can.

The caffeine hit my veins instantly, I felt the rush pumping through my veins making my eyes open wide and my muscles to tense. Was that really coffee? More like cocaine.

My hand grabbed my phone before I could even notice, and when I realized and tried to stop it from doing something stupid, the phone was already dialing.

Walking to her building felt like a nightmare, but it also felt relieving at the same time. I was leaving behind PNB's headquarters early, that was new, and it felt good.

Every step I took, the thought of Liza glued onto my mind. Why now? Why couldn't I let myself make a mistake for once? Why did I have to follow the right path every single time? Why couldn't I just let my heart guide me for once? But those were questions I didn't have an answer for, questions remaining on the bottom of my soul, longing to be set free yet knowing they wouldn't be anytime soon.