Loving You is Hard, Especially When I Hate You.

Serena's big news

CHAPTER 48

I looked at the clock seeing only 3 minutes had past since I last looked. This was getting frustrating. Liam was due any second now and I was left to ponder how on Earth was going to tell him. I had finally been able to calm myself enough to fall asleep last night and now I was going to have to explain to yet another person what was wrong. I felt bad that Liam wasn't the first to know. But at least he wasn't the last. I would have to tell everyone at some point but right now my mind was focusing on telling Liam.

I looked back at the clock, only a minute had past. I bit my lip and ran a shaky hand through my hair. How would I tell him? How could I tell him? Would I just lay it out? Or build up to it? It was going to be the toughest thing I had to tell anyone. I took a deep breath before resting my head on the back of the couch and taking several deep breaths. I decided to busy myself by grabbing my mobile and going to twitter. I scrolled through my mentions;

'SERENA YOU ARE SO PERFECT! Please follow me?'

'I'm so glad Liam is back with you! Glad to have you back in the 1D family!'

'you and Liam are going to have beautiful babies'

and that's where I stopped. I could already feel the tears getting ready to build up, I didn't want to cry again. I didn't need to before Liam got here. I took deep shaky breaths but they only turned into shallow quick gasps of air as the tears started pouring down. I brought my legs up to my chest and wrapped my arms around them as I started to sob once more. I couldn't count how many times I had cried over this. It wasn't fair. It wasn't at all. Why couldn't I have kids? Why was I unable to? Why did it have to be me?

Just then I heard the door open. Crap. I looked up wiping the stray tears off and looking to see Liam standing there. He had a duffel bag in one hand holding it over his shoulder and a rolling suit case at his side. When he saw me the smile he had on was wiped off and a frown formed, he was at my side holding me close to him as I started sobbing again. I didn't want him to see me like this. But there wasn't anyway to stop them once they started falling. I felt him start rocking me slightly as I continued to sob into his shirt.

A few minutes passed and I felt myself slowly calming down. Maybe it was because I was finally done crying, or maybe it was because I was just so physically and mentally exhausted. And I was beginning to think it was the second option as my eyes started to droop and I could feel myself beginning to fall asleep.

Liam's POV-

Rennie finally stopped crying after a while had passed. I looked down to see that her eyes were closed. She started to do that little eye thing that I knew she only did when she was asleep, where she would blink slightly as if she was awake and her eyes were open. I found it completely adorable. But right now I didn't need to be analyzing her, she needed her rest. It was obvious that she was completely exhausted. Even if she had a nights worth of sleep, she seemed to be utterly tired. I cradled her in my arms as I pulled myself up and walking to our room.

I laid her down on her side and pulled the covers over her then quietly walked out and back to the living room. I decided to let her sleep and go out to get some food for us to eat when she woke up. I wasn't going to push her to tell me what was wrong. She would tell me on her own time. But when would that be? Would she tell me immediately after she woke up? Or would she never tell me and keep me in suspense our whole lives till she had to tell me. I felt completely in the dark at this point. But maybe that was a good thing? Maybe I shouldn't know. I guess it was her decision to tell me or not.

I grabbed my phone and keys and walked out the front door. I decided to get some Italian seeing as we always got Chinese. Change it up a bit, hopefully change is what we needed. I walked down the street to a local Italian restaurant, Harry said he had taken Natalie there once and they quite enjoyed it. It was a short walk to the little restaurant which was in between a little boutique and a starbucks. Maybe I could get her some starbucks too. That always seemed to cheer her up. I walked into the restaurant and was greeted by the smell of food delicious cooking. I went up to the counter and quickly ordered some take out. Not before taking a few pictures with the workers and some fans eating there.

“So how come you're back? Aren't you suppose to be in America?” the girl behind the counter asked.

“Oh just... um... something came up and I needed to come back.” I said scratching the back of my neck. I didn't want to tell her anything because it could end up on twitter or tumblr and everyone would know. Right now this was between me and Rennie. Not the whole world. She nodded and went back to doing whatever on her computer. Obviously noticing that I wasn't open to talking about it. A few minutes later my food was ready, I paid quickly and walked out. Only to bump into someone I really didn't want to see. Delilah.

“Liam! Thank God you're back. Please I need to-”

“No Delilah. I've told you once and I'll tell you again. I don't want anything to do with you now-”

“No Liam, you are going to listen to me this time.” I rolled my eyes pushing past her and walked as fast as I could. Hopefully she wouldn't follow behind me. Whatever she had to tell me was probably not worth it. It was probably something to mess with Rennie and I's relationship. I really wish I hadn't met her. Everything would be so much simpler if she hadn't come along.

.

When I got back to the flat it was still completely silent. I decided to lay out the food to let it cool off a bit so when we ate it wouldn't be too hot. I sat back down on the couch and turned the telly on to see if there was anything I wanted to watch. Nothing was really on that was interesting, a few celebrity news shows were already talking about how I had suddenly left America and came back to England. Luckily they didn't know why. I only hoped that when I find out what's wrong, they don't. Just then the sound of a door opening caused me to tear my gaze from the telly to see that Rennie was up. I smiled at her getting up and hugging her. She hesitantly hugged me back. That was odd. She had never done that before. Something must really be up.

“I got some food, do you want to eat?” she shook her head and looked down. I sighed and looked at her seriously. “Rennie, please just have a little bit?” she sat down on the couch and pulled her messy hair into a pony tail. They way she looked was heart breaking, her eyes had bags under them, she didn't have that shine in her eyes like she used to, she was broken. Utterly broken. All I wanted to do now was put back the pieces. We were going to get through this no matter what. I sat down next to her and opened a box of spaghetti. And handed her it with a fork. She took a small bit on her fork and slowly brought it to her lips. Before she even ate it she stopped her self and set it back down.

“Liam.. Liam I can't keep this f-from you any longer.” she said looking down at the hem of her shirt. I took one of her hands and held it in mine.

“you don't need to-”

“No Liam I need to tell you. Liam I love you so so much, I- I don't think there is anyone else for me really. But you d-deserve someone who can g-give you w-what I can't.” tears were spilling out of her eyes as she went on. My heart was racing, I didn't want to lose her. I wasn't about to lose her again.

“Liam.. Liam I can't give you the life you want.” she said looking at me with her tear filled gray eyes.

“Liam... Liam I can't have children.”

~*~

so she told him! what do you guys think?