Loving You is Hard, Especially When I Hate You.

Two Shocking Details

CHAPTER 12

what did I get myself into. Why did I have to say yes? Why did I have to think this was a good idea? I think to myself. Yesterday it was probably a good idea. But now.. it just seemed like a stupid thing to do. A really stupid thing. We had spent an hour planning on how we would tell Liam. Or more like surprise him.

I quickly walk pulled out my phone just as I got to the last step of the stairs quickly pressing on Andy's number and texting.

'hey I'm down the stairs are you almost there? -Re Re x'

I looked out to the cold London street trying to see if Andy was already there. He wasn't, but Liam was. Oh God I can't do this. He was outside of the car as usual sipping on coffee and looking around waiting for me to come out. He was probably freezing. He was probably angry that I was a bit late. And I know he will be angry when he finds out that he waited out in the cold for nothing.

I felt my mobile buzz in my hand, quickly unlocking it I read 'go out now i'm going to be there in a minute -Andy x'

I put it back in my pocket opening the door into the cold February morning. Liam immediately snapped his faces to see me. He smiled at me standing up straighter. Just then did I realize he had two coffees in his hand. And one was my favourite. Mocha Frappicino. He had gotten that for me. And i'm sure his hand was freezing due to the ice and the cold wind. Great now I feel like even more of a jerk.

Just as I thought I should cancel the plan, Andy comes round the corner in his car. Liam looks over and frowns. Andy gets out of the car smiling like nothings wrong.

“hey mate!” Andy said cheerfully to Liam as he walked over to me wrapping his arms around my waist and pulling me closer. I quickly wrapped my arms around his neck hugging me. I heard Liam clear his voice and we pulled away.

“so... when did this happen?” Liam asked. He was smiling, but it wasn't his smile. It was the smile he gave me when we first met. The smile that meant he didn't like something, or someone.

“well.” Andy started. I bit my lip holding in a laugh as he began the story we made up last night. “after you left we watched the move and went back to her's and we just... had this connection you could say.” he looked down at me smiling like I was his whole world. My god this boy is a great actor. Really he should win an Oscar or something. I smiled back and giggled as he kissed my nose. It was weird to say the least. It may have looked like that cliché couple-y stuff on the outside, but for me.. it was just … weird. This guy was a friend to me. Nothing more nothing less. And now I was pretending to like him like a boyfriend in front of the guy that I actually wanted to do all the stupid cliché romantic stuff with.

“so you guys are... uh-”

“together? Yeah... yeah we are.” Andy said smiling. And then he went for it. The big finale. I knew this was coming, but I was still shocked when his lips made contact with mine. There was nothing. No spark, no electrifying shock, no waves of excitement or anything that I got with Liam. It was just... a kiss. I didn't feel anything that made me want more. It didn't feel like anything I felt when I kissed Liam. It was like one of those meaningless kisses you share with someone in 7 minutes in heaven or spin the bottle. But I knew I had to make it seem more than that if I wanted Liam to believe it.

I pulled away smiling madly at Andy before turning back to Liam blushing. “uh.. sorry Liam.” I say tucking a piece of hair behind my ear. “and sorry for not telling you, but Andy offered to drive me to work from now on... so you don't have to worry about waking up earlier anymore.” I gave him a big fake smile. But in fact the look on his face was tearing me apart. He was completely spaced out but he looked hurt. For the first time I could tell what he was thinking. I could read it in his face. His fake smile had faded to a frown and his eyes were looking off into the distance glassy. It hurt to know this was because of me. I wanted to go back and refuse Andy's stupid plan. Because I don't think I can deal with this.