Loving You is Hard, Especially When I Hate You.

Bad News

CHAPTER 46

“Ms. Jacobson, there isn't an easy way to tell you this but... erm.. Ms. Jacobson you can't have childern.” I choked on the air that had been stuck in my throat since I saw his eyebrows furrow, his happy smile turn into a grimace, everything happy about him seemed to just disappear as he silently looked over the page and told me the worst news I could ever hear in my life. I took a sharp in take of breath, only to have it be caught in my chest as I shakily let it out. I felt the tears build up slowly making my vision blurry as I began to shake slightly. He patted my shoulder awkwardly before stepping back and explaining. I wasn't really listening, all I knew is that something was wrong with me causing me to not be able to have kids.

The worst part was, that I would have to tell Liam this. All of it. I would have to explain to him that I couldn't have kids. I knew he wanted children. I knew he wanted that, to get married, to raise children in a country side home. To have his own children. And I couldn't give him that, I couldn't give him the children that I know he dreamed about having. The little Liam's running around. Maybe it was fate telling me something. Maybe it was telling me that I wasn't meant to be with him. If I couldn't give him what he wanted, what was the point? He wouldn't be happy with me. He would regret not being able to have kids. He would wish that he could turn back time and dump me for someone that could give him everything that he wanted and more. It was just another reason why I wasn't good enough for him.

I took deep convulsive breath before pulling my phone out and dialing the only person I knew I could talk to about this.

“hello?” she answered. I sucked in my breath before clearing my throat.

“H-hey um... Charlotte? C-can I talk to you for a minute?”

“what's wrong babe?” so I told her. I spilled my guts out to her, explaining everything, even the reason I was so upset. In truth I don't think I would be as upset as I' am now if I wasn't with Liam. Because in truth I don't think I would even think about having kids till I was retired from dancing. Liam made me want to settle down and have kids. In truth I couldn't wait to have kids with him, but now that wasn't even possible.

When I finished I heard her take a deep breath before clearing her throat and saying. “have you talked to him? You can't be sure he wouldn't want you after hearing this. And babe i'm so sorry, you don't deserve this, I know how much you two wanted to have kids of your own.”

I wiped a few stray tears off my cheeks before sniffing and saying. “what? We never said anything about it before?”

“you could just see it, when you were holding little Nath, anyone would have to be blind not to see that you guys both wanted to have children together.” I blushed, was it that obvious? That I wanted to have kids with Liam. I'm pretty sure that the minute I laid eyes on my beautiful nephew I wanted kids. Especially with Liam. Just then I heard a faint cry come from the other end.

“That's baby Nath I better get him, but Rena, please go talk to him. You guys need to talk about this okay? Love you can't wait to see you soon.” we said out goodbyes before I hung up wiping the tears that had fallen from my eyes. I looked up at the sky closing my eyes before calling one more number. She answered after a few rings and I told her to meet me at the starbucks close to my flat complex. I quickly hoped on my bike and drove off towards the coffee shop.

.

I got there in a few minutes and saw Eleanor through the window. I took a deep breath before pulling open the door and walking in. She looked up and saw me before giving me a wave and gesturing for me to come over. I walked down to her table and gave her a hug before sitting down. I wasn't really in the mood for coffee, I just couldn't be in the flat that Liam and I shared. It would remind me too much of Liam and Liam was the one thing I didn't want to think about.

“what's wrong babe?” she said I took a deep breath pushing a strand of dark hair out of my face.

“I went to the doctors today.”

“yeah you told me what happened? Oh God. Your not dying are you?”

“Erm... no not exactly. But, they found out I can't have children.” Her jaw dropped and she almost lost grip on her coffee.

“w-what? Your joking? Right?” I looked down at the table feeling her gaze on me before I got to courage to look at her, eyes full of tears.

“I- I wish I was.” I gave a little chuckle at the end, it honestly sounded dry, and depressed. This was probably the worst day of my life. Worst than when my father had the heart attack. This was crushing me, I don't know how exactly to take it. I needed something. Someone to comfort me, and seeing as Liam wasn't here and my family was hours away, Eleanor was the only other person I could go to. She was always there for me when I needed her. Especially when Liam wasn't round to comfort me.

“Hey it will be okay, okay? But, we need some serious girl time okay? You go back to your flat and get all dressed down, and I will get the good stuff okay? Chinese take out, movies, ice cream okay?” I smiled nodding as she got up and walked down the street to the nearest store to buy all of it. But in all honesty, my stomach was in millions of knots and even thinking about eating made me want to vomit. But nevertheless I needed company but before we could, I would need to talk to Liam.

.

When I got inside the flat I quickly grabbed my computer signing in and checking to see if Liam was on, luckily he was. I pressed call and waited for his face to pop up. Soon enough Liam turned up on my screen, although it looked as though he was in a car.

“Rennie! How are you babe?” he said before Louis and Harry popped up on the screen.

“RENA!” they said together. “we miss you!” I laughed waving at them giving them a smile even though I was mentally cursing them out in my head. Why did he have to be around the boys right now? I couldn't do it now, I would have to talk to him later.

“Hey boys.” I said giving them a short wave. “Erm.. where are you guys?”

“in a car heading to an interview!” Niall said popping up on the screen. “so no mushy couple stuff got it? I don't want to have to make fun of Liam for kissing his phone.” that made me laugh genuinely, but it was soon stopped due to my racing thoughts.

“erm... well Liam I- can we talk later? This is kinda a... private matter.” just then the screen shuffled and Liam was replaced with Zayn, a serious Zayn.

“you're not pregnant are you?” I gasped lightly feeling the tears seep into my eyes and blur my vision, I could feel my lungs contract as it started getting hard to breathe without trying to let sobs come out. I took a deep shaky breath before shaking my head.

“j-just c-call me later-r.'' I said quickly before shutting the laptop quickly and throwing it to the side. Then I pulled a pillow and sobbed my eyes out. This was the worst I had ever felt in a while, I wanted to curl up and sleep forever. Just then the door opened and in walked Eleanor holding two bags full of food and movies.

“oh honey!” she said dropping the bags and walking over and pulling me into a hug rubbing my arm. “hey it will be okay, everything will be fine.”

but everything would not be fine. I could feel it, nothing was going to be fine.

~*~

so there you have it! sorry for the really late uploads (two AM here) but you know my sleeping schedule is screwed up

what do you guys think?

vote if you want a Liam POV next chapter!

love you guys so much i love reading you comments i know i used to always reply but it's hard when i say the same thing over and over again i still love reading them and they always make me smile i promise you that! -Me <33 xxx