she & she | chaelisa

12 | she's not worth it

A/N: Nice to see some of you are still reading!I am so sorry to have ditched this fanfic. I'll try to keep working on it bc my partner is telling me I shouldn't let you guys down!

this will be a short filler chapter but an update is still an update ;)

So here is the 12th chapter after a year (or more) of hiatus

____

"A-and, and then," I could barely make coherent sentences as I told Franco the story. He hushed me and hugged me tighter.

I rested my head on his chest in the same way I did with my dad when I was younger. He also held me comfortingly the exact same way my dad would whenever I was sad as a kid over bullies or low grades. It was a nice feeling that made things more comforting but even this couldn't suck up all the sadness in me.

"I don't know why," I said in between sobs. "But I wanted to kiss her and I don't know why. So, I did but, but,"

"Ooh, baby girl," Franco cooed in a high-pitched voice as I was reduced to sobs. "It's okay. It's okay."

"It's definitely not okay, Franco." I was a disgusting mess of snot and tears, and now of saliva. "I messed up my friendship and my self-esteem. I feel disgusting."

"Why would you feel disgusting?" He asked. "Rosé, I don't know if you're aware but so many guys are into you. Jennie has been asked at least three times if you were single by three different guys. You're that hot."

"Just because Lisa Manoban doesn't want to kiss you, doesn't mean that you're disgusting," He continued. "And you said you guys were friends. Friends don't kiss friends, and maybe that's just how she sees you."

I tried to keep it in but the whimpering still managed to escape my lips. I never thought of Lisa as more that just a friend; she was always just THAT to me.

But now, I was crying over her not wanting to be more than just friends. It's not even just the physical manifestion of tears; it was the actual sadness that ate up everything in me. I was pretty much consumed by pain.

"Franco, I feel lost." I cried hard. "I never thought about her that way and I never liked her like that but now, I'm heartbroken over a girl I didn't even like-like."

Franco sighed and patted my head. "Rosé, have you ever considered that maybe," He paused. "You actually liked her from the start, and were just waiting for her to make the first move all this time because you thought she felt the same way."

I paused and didn't speak. I just scratched at Franco's cotton shirt like a cat for comfort. (My dad used to call me Kitty Chaeng when I did this as a kid.)

"I knew it from the start, to be honest." He admitted. "You look at her differently. When her name comes up, I can see you try your hardest not to react but I could see that look in your face. It kinda looks like guilt and infatuation combined. You also have been texting her nonstop. I also noticed that you go out a lot based on your Instagram stories; no matter how hard you try to crop out Lisa, I know it's her."

"You like her, Rosé. You're just too scared to face your emotions." He concluded.

I stayed silent and hugged Franco tighter as I sighed deeply. I don't think I liked Lisa like that but a part of me was saying that I was just in an intense state of denial. That part of me, I feel, was trying to be rational. That part asked, "Why else would you kiss her?"