Letter Go | Jensoo

Week Five: A Trip Cut Short.

📍Paris, France 🇫🇷

Dear Jennie,

Do you remember the first time I got sick? It wasn't very long ago, I doubt you could ever forget.

It was the first time you saw me after my rounds of Chemotherapy. I was pale, almost a yellow. I was weaker than you've ever seen me before.

I could practically see your heart breaking in your eyes. The way you didn't want to believe it. That it was just some horrible nightmare.

The was the most pain I've ever seen you in. And I know it's because I was in the most pain I've ever been in. But there were words you'd say that you always whispered to me whenever you thought I was sleeping.

I bet you know them. 'It always gets worse before it gets better.'

I'm sure you meant it in an encouraging way. And it helped. You probably meant them for yourself but I remember hearing it every night before falling asleep.

I remember you arguing with your parents to skip school to stay in the hospital to be with me. I remember you crying when you thought I was asleep. I remember you being angry because you thought I didn't deserve this.

I bet you thought I never heard you.

That was my very first battle with cancer. I beat it didn't I? I beat it because I wasn't fighting alone. Because you were fighting their with me. And although your pain was different than mine I know it hurts just the same.

It's because you love me. I promised you I wouldn't forget it. I hope you know that I love you too. More than I could ever say. More than I could ever show you.

Thank you for being strong for me when I can't be, Jennie Kim. Thank you for staying in my corner each and every step of the way. Thank you for hiding your pain when you knew I was hurting. Thank you for being there when it came back.

Thank you for everything.

But mostly for being apart of my life.

Your fighter,
Kim Jisoo.

Jisoo wakes up in the middle of the night to empty her stomach into the toilet. Her skin is a sickly pale colour, her breathing is laboured and heavy bags have set under her eyes.

The bile that had been churning in her stomach since the since the day prior, boiled to a new level.

With every cough and heave of her chest, she thought about that night that she had forgotten. She thought about Jennie and how she had taken care of her when she had immense pain in her chest. Most of all, she thought about the way she desperately needed Jennie. She needed her then, and she needed her now.

On the next heave, Jisoo is throwing up a bit of blood.

Jennie brings them to the nearest hospital, Chaeyoung and Lisa following. She calls their parents to let them know. They tell her they're on the first flight in.

She's a nervous wreck in the waiting room, she's pacing and chewing her nails. Her hands haven't stopped shaking.

There's an ache in her heart yet it still thumps loudly against her chest. She waits a little less than patient for some type of news.