Dan
1:46pm
As soon as I saw Amelia, my wish to rid Phil from constantly re-appearing in my mind had been granted. But as soon as she left, he was all I could think about.
I put my hand on the door to support my frail body and turned until my back hit the wood. Slowly, I slid down until I was sat on the hotel room floor, my knees tucked in and my head down.
There, I stayed for a few minutes, truly beaten and shattered to pieces for the first time in my life. In that moment, I finally realised what Phil had been trying to say all this time.
'Dan, what are you doing?' I asked myself angrily.
I was 25 years old and I had already considered settling down with a woman I didn't truly love for the rest of my life. I would be chained to that lifestyle forever if I didn't break free now.
After all this time, the penny had finally dropped. Life was too short to waste time being unhappy. As long as I was with Amelia and my relationship with Phil was still broken, I was going to be truly unhappy. I want to be free, just like Phil. I want to be impulsive like Phil. I want to live my life to its fullest and appreciate the little things like Phil does but I need him to show me how. I want to run out in the rain spontaneously but I'm embarrassed. I want to go for long motorway drives with not a care in the world, feeling the breeze against my skin and in my hair, but I don't know where to start. I needed to let go of all the baggage, but I couldn't do that. I had a life back in America which I had worked hard for. My family were back in America, all my friends.
I needed to get back, but I wasn't leaving without patching things up with Phil. We couldn't leave it the same way we left it last time.
As though I was struck by a surge of lightening, I stood up and grabbed my jacket along with my keys, running out of the hotel room to make my way to Phil's apartment. There was no time for a taxi, so I jumped straight in my rental car and headed to Phil's place.
I knocked on the door. No answer. I hoped it wasn't a case of him seeing me stood outside his apartment yet choosing not to open the door. I knocked again, more vigorously this time, praying he would hear me.
"C'mon, Phil, open up!"
No answer.
"Phil, please... I need you!"
I froze. What had I just said? I shook my head, staggering backwards. I didn't need Phil. I was fine without him, actually. I would be fine back in America on my own. It wasn't like high school, I told myself for the hundredth time.
I checked the time on my phone. That's when I saw it. How could I be so stupid? My shoe scuffed against the floor aggressively. How could I forget?
Tuesday 4th August 2018
His mother's funeral was 11 years ago today. I could have beaten myself up there and then for forgetting, but I sure as hell wasn't giving up.
***
a/n
I was screaming at those comments on the last chapter you guys are amazing & hilarious😂
also 1k reads?????? wow okay thankyou legends
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unchained
Fanfiction'life's too short for you to waste time being unhappy, dan.' [complete] phil's life takes a dramatic turn when he sees the boy he has spent the last seven years convincing himself he is no longer in love with. dan knew phil well back in high school...
