Sensitive [Phan]

3 - T H R E E - 3

   The group of boys, now satisfied with their new plan, all stand up and walk away, leaving me alone once again. I like it this way anyway, content to sit on my phone and drinking from the red cup in my hand, the headache slowly slipping away with every gulp. I enjoy the comfortable couch until Chris and Pj come and sit down next to me.

"How's the distraction going?" Chris slurs out his words and is holding tightly onto PJ for support, his arms wrapped around his neck. I am unfazed by the question as I think about it and try to decide the answer. Technically it is going well, seeing as I don't feel nauseous yet and the headache from before is gone. The growls that once were erupting from my stomach are now silenced, and none of my issues seem important right now. 

"Good, I guess." I stare down into at the couch, disappointment of my current state showing in my tone of voice. Pj's head lifts as I speak and his eyebrows furrow in what can only be described as concern. I look up to see if he is looking at me, however his gaze is pointed in the opposite direction, trying to hide any emotion that might be conveyed. I try to think of something to make the boys less worried, but fail as my train of thoughts wander all over the place.

Why are they concerned. I'm fine. I need food. No, I need a nap, or a shower, or a hug. No, I take that back, I just need another drink. 

"I think I need another drink." Voicing my thoughts, I brake the small silence that had once been a conversation and stand up, only to catch myself on the arm of the sofa. Pj stands up as well, grabbing me to ensure I don't fall over. The room spins and I suddenly feel as if I am on a boat. 

Sway, Sway, Sway. Sway in the sea. The sea of me. Sway, stay, stay. Stay and have another drink. Why go home, when you can just sway. 

"I want-wanna sway- stay here." My words come out as a jumbled pile, causing Pj to giggle in amusement. Chris, who is still sitting, shakes his head in circles in an attempt to agree. Rolling his eyes and giving an annoyed frown, Pj lifts me up and starts walking away from the posh sitting area. My face scrunches up, confused from the sudden movement. I open my mouth to speak, but he cuts me off before I can.

"No, you can not sway here. I am taking you home," Pj pauses for a second, turning his head to Chris, "and you too, pretty boy. Get your flat butt over here." Chris scurries up from the couch, a new color taking over his face. Pj pushes past people, now connected at the hands with the older, yet less mature, boy. Wave after wave of people in the sea push against out boat as we try to make it out of the storm. I close my eyes, feeling dizzy from all the people, and let Pj guide me. 

"Phil? Come on, get in the car." I let out a reluctant groan as Pj stops walking and lets go of me. My body hits the cold car, causing me to open my eyes again. The night sky twinkles brightly, filled with stars and the slightest bit of clouds. The moon shines upon the area,  illuminating it in a way that allows me to see the handle connected the vehicle. I grab it and, with all my strength, pull back as hard as I can. The car door swings open suddenly, making me fall back onto the grass of the curb. 

"Jesus Phil. You really outdid yourself this time." Pj laughs from inside the car, already having succeeded in placing Chris in the passenger seats. Light snores come from his curled up body as he breathes heavily. I push myself back up, practically toppling into the vehicle with a loud thud. Pj reaches over me easily, due to the fact I lay on my stomach, and closes the car door. The lights that were once shining above my head now dim until they are completely off. The car starts to move and I begin to feel even more nauseous than before. My hand shoots up to find a plastic bag on the floor, opening it quickly as I move my head to meet it. I open my mouth and puke up what little contents laid in my stomach. Pj sighs and rolls down the windows, keeping them down for the rest of the ride. 

"Thanks for coming with, sorry I let you get this drunk, I hope your brother doesn't mind" A  concerned voice comes from the front of the car and when I look up to see Chris still sleeping, I conclude Pj had spoken. I laugh a little, taking amusement out of his statement.  My brother normally knew where I was, learning the first few times of me coming home that it was best not to question me when it was obvious. There aren't many places I could be that lead me to stumbling inside drunkenly in the late hours of the night.

"Don't worry. He won't." I speak quietly, still feeling sleepy and a little sick. I use my arms to pry myself off the seats, opening the car door with weight instead of muscle. Swinging my feet out of the vehicle, I smile at Pj, grateful to have such kind friends. He, in return, nods his head wishing me a goodbye without really speaking. I assume the notion is to not wake Chris, even though he is out cold. I shut the car door lightly with the same thought in mind and turn to walk over to the door of my house. 

Taking the house key from a pocket of my jeans, I step up to the entrance. The key fits loosely into the lock allowing the nob to be turned easily. I slowly open the door, trying to avoid making noise and slip inside, ensuring to close the door lightly. I dizzily make my way up the steps and open my creaky bedroom door. The room is just as I left it, a complete mess. My bed has blue and green checkers on it, however the comforter is laying halfway on the floor. The desk sits in the corner of the space, housing a laptop, AKA my precious baby. At the other end of the room is my dresser. I used to have my drawings and paintings all around my room, but the worse I got mentally, the more I removed. Breaking my train of thought, I plop down on the bed, not bothering to go on social media or change, and fall into a deep, dreamless sleep.