Feels like Home

4. New Man

Although Luca and I never hung out that much at school, once we entered high school, it was like we were on different planets.

Heather and I weren't athletic at all, but she still always managed to get us seats at the jocks' table at school. She had her ways. I didn't mind though, because that table included Jason.

I had had a crush on Jason since we were nine. He came up to me at recess when I was by myself—Heather was sick that day or something—and played hopscotch with me the whole period. He just did it because he knew I was alone, and he didn't want me to be.

I'm not even sure he remembered that day, but I did. I had been—slightly—obsessed with him ever since.

It may have just been a coincidence, but one Friday I walked to our table to discover he was seated in the seat right next to mine. Did he do that on purpose? Did someone else take his seat forcing him to sit next to the athletically-challenged girl at the end of the table?

I tried to act like I didn't even notice. I sat down next to him and smiled--stupidly I'm sure--to the entire table. I began to eat my cafeteria pizza slice--small bites only--when I felt his leg touch mine under the table, and not move.

My heart began to beat fast, and I found I could no longer eat. I willed my face not to turn bright red, but I couldn't bring myself to look in Jason's direction. I thought if I did, I might melt into the floor. This might be the best moment of my life.

As I'm looking around the cafeteria--anywhere but to my immediate right--I see Luca walking in my table's direction. He's wearing bagging pants and a black shirt, with his skateboard somehow positioned between himself and his backpack.

He had suddenly become obsessed with skateboarding. I saw him in his driveway every night trying to copy moves as he watched them on his laptop. I used it as fuel to tease him whenever we talked--which was rare.

A girl, who assumed was his current girlfriend, walked up next to him, and he immediate put his arm around her, not missing a step. He must have felt my eyes on him because he glanced in my direction. He was probably wondering why I looked so supremely uncomfortable. He didn't know about my Jason crush; it's the one secret I never told him.

He tilted his head back in greeting as he passed our table, and I gave him a close lipped smile in return. I stopped watching when he went behind my back, but I knew he was heading out to eat lunch on the lawn. That's where all the stoners ate when it wasn't too cold.

Jason must have noticed the interaction because he looked over at me. "You know Knight?"

"Yeah. I mean...kind of...not really." I didn't know why I lied. He seemed placated though.

"So are you going to game Friday?"

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I was sitting in my room after school, trying to finish my English paper before my mom got home from work. We were supposed to go prom dress shopping tonight. I heard some noise outside and assumed Luca must be practicing his skateboarding.

I needed a distraction from my paper, and watching Luca fall repeatedly was always entertaining. As I peeled back my curtain, however, I saw Luca standing with his girlfriend. They were standing to the side of his house, where you wouldn't be able to see them from the street or front door, but directly in line with my window.

I knew I should look away, but I couldn't. I was curious to see Luca around a girl; I'd never seen him in that element before. My mind immediately went to the truth or dare game that led to each of us having our first kiss.

He had obviously had some practice since then; he looked so confident now. As his hand raised to tuck a strand of her hair behind her ear, I found myself doing the same. And as he lowered his head to hers, I closed my eyes. I felt a tingling in my pants and was surprised. What would it feel like to kiss Luca?

Without really realizing it, my hand began moving lower down my body, touching the soft skin of my abdomen. When it hit my jeans, I quickly unbuttoned them and squeezed my hand between my legs. I began massaging the folds softly and slowly, not taking my eyes off Luca.

They were full-on making out now. Soon, he lowered his hand down the front of her pants, too. I saw her raise one leg next to his hip, giving him more access, and I inserted a finger inside myself. I matched his strokes pace for pace, noting when his arm flexed and released. Using one hand to steady myself on the windowsill, I knew I was so close. I wondered if he was making her close to coming, too.

Right as I was on the brink, I saw them suddenly pull away from each other and look toward the road. It was my mom coming home from work. He gave her one more quick kiss and held her hand to walk her towards the front of the house. She looked as dissapointed as I was.