Park Benches and Polaroids

If You Hadn't (part two)

When my hair became red,

yours its deep brown;

when I came back to you

as it started to turn to December;

when all I could think about was being alone

with you

embracing you,

that was when I knew.

The snow was grazing our shoulders

and it was too cold for bare fingers

but I reached out

to hold your hand

and you took it

and grinned so hard I

had to look away

because I was blushing.

I almost fell off the curb I was balancing on.

The happiness

slowly

crept

back

in,

traveling through me like

a strange gold light.

"It would be so easy to kiss you," I murmured,

half a dare,

half another part of the river of words

bubbling out:

Did I mean it?

I couldn't stop thinking about it.

I wanted to say it.

It just came out.

If you hadn't leaned in

and cupped my face in your warm hands

and kissed me...

If you hadn't been there

If you hadn't told me you loved me

If you hadn't cried in front of me,

pushed for me,

called me brave and beautiful, 

made me feel strong

loved

sought after

and hearing that I made you feel that way,

who would I be without you?