Eyes of Stone (Gaster!Sans x Reader)

48. Recklessness

A quiet atmosphere hugged the city, the sky revealing patches of crystal blue among the looming grey clouds. I ambled on through, cringing from the bright sun overhead. Crossing the town square and passing by Edna's shop, I found myself missing the old woman. I hadn't seen her in a while, but it didn't make a difference if I wanted to or not, for the the sign on the front door read 'closed'. I didn't need anything mending anyway. 

She was probably taking stock, making sure everything was still there and in order. Either that or recovering from the war. Most people still were, despite it being just under a month since the humans fled. So, most shops were closed, minus the grocery shops and retail stores. Fortunately Muffet's 'cafe and restaurant' was wide open and full of monsters enjoying the pastries that Muffet baked at the speed of sound. I say 'fortunately' because I planned to meet Undyne here in a few minutes. I needed to see someone, to tell at least one person of what I was planning to do.

The traffic today was quiet, quick, quaint. People milled around, talking or entering/exiting shops. I didn't get as many stares as usual, which was nice. I didn't really need more stress.

I tightened the leather jacket around me, shoving my hands into my pockets. The bell ringed when I opened the door, and Muffet spotted me, waving precisely three of her eight hands. I gave a small wave, a half-hearted smile finding its way onto my face. Glancing around the room, it was clear that Undyne wasn't yet here; she would've shouted at me the moment I stepped a  foot in the place. So, I randomly selected a booth and sank into the cushioned seat, a sigh of relief flying out of my mouth.

Five minutes passed, and I could feel my eyelids drooping. At night I usually resorted to staring out the window, sometimes at the moon and when it was absent, the clouds that floated by. Sleep was a luxury nowadays, didn't mean I didn't want it though.

Ten minutes passed, and I ordered a drink. Muffet even came over.

"Hiya G. Meeting someone?" she said with a wink. A bitter taste came into my mouth.

"No. Undyne's supposed to be here soon." She nodded, half-realizing her mistake.

"Wanna order something whilst you wait? I could always use the extra gold~" Muffet said coyly. I nearly rolled my eyes.

"I'll have a beer, I guess."

"Coming right up!" she said with a skip, bouncing off to get my drink. I hadn't had alcohol in a while; I wasn't sure what it would taste like now.

Suddenly door flew open, the bell having a seizure from the impact. Undyne leaped inside, scanning the room with a predator-like nature before spotting me and running over. She was panting with beads of sweat on her sapphire-coloured forehead, which was a strange look on her.

"Sorry G! I was with Alphys in the lab and time totally disappeared! Hope you weren't waiting too long punk," she nearly gasped, collapsing into the booth opposite me. I probably looked annoyed but I was actually quite amused. I had never seen Undyne run across town for someone, minus her girlfriend, Alphys. Heck, I didn't see it this time round but I could sure picture it.

"Chill out, fish," I chuckled lightly. Undyne's eyes widened and she froze for a couple seconds, probably surprised by the rare sound of me laughing. Then, as if her brain was re-wiring, she shook it off.

"Phew. Lemme cool down and get some lemonade before we talk, whatever you wanna talk about, that is."

After Muffet came over with my beer, surprised to see Undyne suddenly in the booth, she took her order and gracefully scuttled off again.

"So--" Undyne leaned forward. "--What did ya wanna talk about?"

I took a deep breath, formulating my statement. With any luck she would be chilled out about it.

"I'm thinking of... Of moving away, just for a bit." 

Undyne blinked twice. And then she exploded.

"WHAT?!"

"Okay okay hear me out, hear me out fish!" I nearly yelled as she began to get riled up, a spear appearing in her hand. Finally, she calmed down. "Alright. Now this idea came to me yesterday, so it's only plausible."

"But why? The defences of the city are still weak, the, the humans could attack again!"

"I know all that, I do. But I really need to, Undyne. Ever since the war, and losing... Losing, Y/n--" I swallowed. "--I just need a break, to clear my head and finally get some peace and quiet."

"You can't find that here?" 

I sighed, scratching my skull. "Not in that cold room, not in the capital building either. I'm still an outcast, Undyne."

"Well you're not exactly helping yourself there," she grumbled.

"True." I leaned back, letting my head hit the board. "This makes the most sense though. I can leave for a bit, find an empty town or another group of monsters out there, and..."

"And what? Escape your problems? Hide from them? It doesn't sound like a solution G, it sounds like a distraction."

"You sound like Toriel," I muttered, feeling a headache coming on. Oh wait, I already had one- she was sitting right in front of me.

"You have to face your issues G, not run from them!"

"You calling me a coward?" I challenged, sliding the beer to the side. It tasted gross anyway.

"No, no I'm--" Undyne suddenly cut off, as if realising something. "You know what? Yes, yes I am. You're a damn coward G and you know it!" she yelled, standing up. I growled, a deep animalistic sound.

"You don't get a say in this Undyne! I'm leaving and you can't stop me!" I shouted.

"Fine! Leave! See if anyone comes after you, because we won't!" She grabbed the beer bottle and smashed it on the floor. The toxic liquid splashed everywhere, splattering my jeans. I jumped, jarred, as if coming to my senses. 

Silence grew between us. Undyne looked ashamed.

"I'll leave," I said lowly, staring at her right in the eye. "I'll leave and I won't ever come back, cos' it seems that's want everyone wants." Undyne gaped at me, frozen as I side stepped out of the booth and stormed out, ignoring the blinding stares of everyone around me.

"G! G wait, I didn't mean it like that--"

"Save it, fish," I spat, standing in the centre of the road. She was just outside the door, a look of sorrow on her face. She stepped forward, hand out and mouth open as if about to say something else. I didn't stay to hear it as I teleported away. In the blink of an eye I was gone.

I appeared in my room, chest heaving in anger. Roaring, I kicked the sofa and threw it over. It hit the floor with a heavy thump. Something like a choked scream ripped from my throat as I trashed the room, throwing everything off the drawers and yanking out the draws themselves. Fire engulfed the room, shards of blood red fire that danced and laughed with glee as projectile bones shot from my fingertips and sank into any and every surface. The earth seemed to shake beneath my feet as pressure built in my chest, kerosene tears springing into the fire that coated the walls. Too late, too late, too late--

Quiet.

At some point, I collapsed onto the floor, sitting in the centre of the room like an estranged child with no one to play with. Breathing heavily, I stared blankly at the door, willing it to open and for someone to be there, anyone. Heck, it could be Asgore and I'd still appreciate it.

Always too far. What was I thinking, trying to explain something like running away to Undyne? I was still pissed off at her, no doubt.

I fell back, my skull clunking on the floor as I lay flat. Funny-- I had never looked at the ceiling before. Pure white in colour, patterns like swirls and stars were scattered across the blank field. I stared at that ceiling until my eyes stung, then I fell asleep, diving into the waves of exhaustion like it was a second home. Or a first. Where even was my home? I think it was destroyed when that missile hit. 

That missile destroyed my first home, my only home.

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