My Public Diary

Thoughts...

Thoughts of worthlessness and self-loathing linger in my mind.

I ignore them and push them away but they fight for domination.

The thought of "how many pills does it take for me to sleep forever?" come and go.

The thought "remember, don't say you're hungry because then they'll make you eat" is locked in my mind.

But the thought of "poor me poor me poor me" are never there, because I don't hate my life.

I hate my thoughts and I hate my emotions. But I am learning to love myself.

Everything comes and goes but the feeling of yourself remains. But it can be changed.

Thoughts keep me together but they also tear me apart.

My thoughts hurt and my thoughts heal.

My thoughts love and my thoughts hate.

My thoughts may be bipolar and mean, but they are mine.

Thoughts put me down but they also pick me up.

I think to myself, many thoughts. Some are good, some are very bad. Some linger and some flee fast.

"You're worthless. No one really loves you."

"You are beautiful. Look at you, you're so pretty."

"Your family is tired of you. Run away or get hit by a car or something. End their suffering."

"Your determination is so powerful. Keep going Mel! you can do it!"

"Stop trying. No one notices anyways."

Thoughts... They're mean and kind. Sometimes you choose what they say, and sometimes they choose how you feel.

What are your thoughts...?

Do they hurt you, or do they help you?

Are they kind, or are they mean?

Do you believe all your thoughts, or are they lies?

Do you share your thoughts as I do, or are they your deep secrets?

Don't let thoughts destroy who you are. Make your thoughts build you up, not tear you down.

So, I shall ask again, what are your thoughts?