"it was a chilly, december night, you had been acting weirdly distant. you wouldn't let me hold you or come close to you, perhaps i sort of deserved it. i wasn't treating you well for the past three months to begin with, i had realized my mistake and was ready to admit it too." he spoke softly and i wondered if we had just talked to each other instead of assuming, maybe, just maybe things wouldn't have turned out this way. "then you, you came to me saying "i'm sorry, i can't handle this anymore" with those last words, you disappeared right through the door with your bags and one last kiss. i stood there in absolute shock and a blank mind, processing what had just happened, as if someone had knocked the air out of my lungs. i couldn't sleep the whole night, just one line swimming around my head. and i realized what you meant was that it wasn't our relationship you couldn't handle, it was me."
as if reading my worried expression, he paused, "we were both immature in some ways, eunji. i was stuck in my childhood which was taken away from me, refusing to admit that i was and you– well you, tried being mature for the both of us. but for how long? how long would you have burdened yourself with my problems?" his words somewhat made a lot of sense, i bit my lip and looked at the man i was in love with, despite the situation.
"but that honestly didn't bother me, after all, relationships are all about sacrifices. i just didn't like it when you would disregard my problems or something that bothered me by saying you had went through worse," i paused, thinking of a way to put my jumbled feelings into words in an understandable way. "i know you've went through worse, but i was tired of you making me feel like i had the perfect life and nothing could go wrong in it."
he nodded, his grip on my hand never loosening, "i understand that now, it took a shit ton of time but i understand where you're coming from," he pauses and we laugh together for the first time this night. our laughter dies down after several seconds and we just there and look at each other with creepy smiles on our faces, so that set us laughing again and we erupt in giggles again.
"shit. i really missed that smile," i said out loud, causing him to smile even wider.
"it's almost 12 am, we're closing soon and you kids are the only ones left in here," the owner snaps us out of our giggling fest.
"well, unless you wanna stay here and help me wash the dishes." he speaks gruffly, reminding me of a scary uncle.
i stand up and bow to him, jeongguk automatically doing the same as we ran out of the cafe after putting some spare change out on the table. we dash out of the cafe and start laughing again as soon as we reached a side walk.
"you should have seen your face," jeongguk manages to speak in between his laughs as his whole face scrunches up beneath the dim moonlight. it was like the whole world stops when he smiles.
i step forward to him, a mere smile on my face, "i'm glad we got to talk today." he doesn't let go of my hand as he nods, "yeah, i am too." he bit his lip, speaking softly.
"is there any chance we could still be friends?"
who could say no to that precious smile?
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
