i tried to remain still, trying not to shiver as we sat down in front of each other. he was seated in front of me and for a moment my heart almost wanted to hammer its way out of my chest even though my breathing was slow and regulated.
he was rarely speaking to begin with, issuing our orders with a stern smile. however, all i could think about how he still knew how i liked my coffee.
"so what brings you here?" he finally asked, after we wasted several seconds in pure awkward silence and staring at each other. i glanced around, racking my brain to find a suitable answer as i bit on my lower lip nervously. he smirked and leaned back in his chair, he knew my lip biting habit all too well. damnit.
"i could ask you the same thing, jeongguk," i replied back, finally looking at him in the eye with a tight smile. he smiles back and shakes his head, staring off into distance.
"is it crazy that i came here because of you?" i couldn't believe the things coming out of his mouth, not even ten days ago he was out with some girl clung into his arm and now he claims to come here to see me?
i scoffed, clenching my jaw, "oh really?" i was about say something further but stopped mid way as the waiter brought us our drinks.
his face scrunched up in confusion as he heard what i said, "i've been looking for you everywhere, eunji," he leans closer and grabs my hand, "do you know how hard was it for me after you left me all alone? you know i had no one except you ever since.. them." i snatch my hand from his grip as distaste spreads across my features. was he really expecting me fall for his trap again? was he really guilt tripping me? well, i wasn't gonna have any of it anymore. i've had enough.
i took a deep breath, "look jeongguk, you need to stop bringing your parents into everything, i'm not telling you to get over it– just stop using them as an excuse, please. i get that you need someone – but i want you to know that i also need someone okay?" he sighs and i could feel his frustration.
"so i'll be your someone, we can make it work again, i promise. i won't ever make you feel–" i could feel my sadness turn into anger at his words and then i totally lost it, "you're in love with her, jeongguk! first it was your crazy obsession with miyeon and then that girl you were with in that park. i– i just can't anymore, jeongguk.. i can't live with all this pressure which comes with being with you."
i couldn't bear to look in his eyes as tears streamed down my face and i realized this was probably the first time i actually cried in front of him while telling him how i honestly felt. finally breaking free from all the sugar coated words and sweet nothings.
"when someone's heart breaks so does a piece of our world; this creates fissures, valleys, and even cracks on the pavement. some people say there's only one heartbreak in our lives that feels that way. so tell me, tell me why i feel that way every moment i spend with you?" i stand up from my chair, almost knocking it down in the process, "tell me! are you going to take responsibility for all the times you made me suffer?"
he looks up at me with teary eyes, "i can explain. please just let me explain myself." i sniffled, wiping away a stray tear from my cheek as i sat down.
"fifteen minutes," i regain my senses and waited for him to begin.
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