NEPTUNE BURNS

melting a summer in me

Truth is I'm melting inside from the tsunami licked sun bath that drips from your pretty eyelashes and I can't say no to you / can't say no to the way you grip my fist till my fingernails spit dirt into crescent shaped cuts in my pink palms / you are always a sunburst of starlight silver sweet and aching from fermentation / a rotten yellow of festering moss and bloody noses that clog my drain with red curdled half-screams / reminds me of a summer where "it's okay it's okay forgive him " was a song adorned to twine me in a headrest of blistering bruises as round as grapefruit / & I loved you with your sadistic blood-thirst licking my palms red sore and infected with crusted over saliva as monsoon season approached to wither my shores into streaks of fallen sun orange / I couldn't say no as you dipped your fingers into my chest and warped my lungs to garden at your slashing lightning colored knife work / "it was only one time...one time...he was angry it was my fault I deserve it" I wash it down with blue pills that swarm my stomach's empty bowl as I try to fight vomiting yes to your open arms / truth is the tsunami never stops hitting while you are off turning streets red velvet with your busted knuckles and forked tongue and in the eye of the storm I barter with the wind to keep you safe / pomegranate seed juice drips dyeing my arms a map to safe port but without you everything is blue & I cannot feel your hand around my neck pressing down till I cry / "I love him why is he hurting me?" & the storm rips open as waves crash to erode my inability to say no to you with my broken wrist clinging to your picture on my phone / you dipped me melting into my skin into my veins making yourself a wax seal in my heart / it will break / one day I will be able to hold the seal without echoing I love you stop hurting me into my blue shrouded shore / truth is if you teach a child love is pain love is staying love is long sleeved terror - the child will look for love in the dips of bite marks and mark themselves the color of a sunset / if only to be loved by the pretty eyelashes of a lover who sparks butterfly kisses and butterfly bandages wherever they touch

meiflowers_ your beautiful comments have made me want to post again thank you for being so kind