"Ok, I can see that your not mad at all. And for you information, I wasn't looking at the beach blonde in the bikini I was looking at her surfboard." I snapped my head to look at him. How did he know about that. There must have been confusion written all over my face because he continued on. "I know that you thought I was looking at her when you saw what I was staring at but if you paid more attention you would know that she isn't my type and that I was actually looking more towards the left, where her board is, than towards the right, where she is." He ended with a grin on his face.
"Oh I wasn't..."
"Sure you weren't. Now how about you tell me what's really bothering you." He grabbed my chin and turned my face towards him, his eyes bore into mine as if daring me to deny anything was wrong, as if he knew what I was going to say without ever saying it. It frightened me that he could know so much about me, of how I feel or what I'm thinking. He looked at me expectantly and I gave in, I started to tell him about the fight when I realized that he didn't know about my dad or the divorce or anything, no one did. And telling him the truth would be like opening the door into my head, into my thoughts, my feelings everything. I wasn't sure if I was completely ready, I just knew that it felt right.
"I know it doesn't make sense, why I don't want to talk to my dad, but if you knew what he did you would understand where I'm coming from," I looked at him, as if expecting him to look sympathetic or something, but all I found was him and I cracked. "my parents met in college, they fell in love, got married, had kids, you know the whole package. They were married for about twenty years, they loved each other, I mean they had their problems like all couples do but they loved each other, or so I thought. It turns out that their whole marriage was a sham, my whole life was a sham. My father had another family on the side. Apparently, after Adel was born my father fell in love again, this time with an Arab woman who shared his same traditions and customs and now they have a family together. Can you believe it, three kids and another one on the way. All this time, we thought he was on business trips and it turns out he was visiting his other family, living this whole other life. For ten years he's been living this lie and one day he decides to finally confess to my mother about his 'other family' and how he wants a divorce so that he can fully commit to them. God, what an asshole huh?" I could feel the tears start to well up in my eyes, I'm surprised they didn't come sooner. I had this huge lump in my throat constricting me from going on but I had to, I don't know why but I just did. "Anyways," I take a big sniff and wipe my nose with the back of my hand. "we were all devastated and worst of all humiliated, I couldn't look or even talk to him for days and the last time I saw him I was shaking his hand before boarding a plane to get as far away from him as I could. I never looked back, and I don't intend to. He betrayed us and I really don't know how my mother can even talk to him, I mean after the divorce we just packed up and left everything behind. 'To start a new and better life without him' she said and now she wants us to talk with him and act as everything is ok just cause he's our father and deserves our 'respect'? I can't I just can't do that, I won't." My shoulders started to shake and I could feel the sobs coming on but I couldn't break down, not here and especially not in front of him. But before I could pull away I felt his arms closing around me and face being pushed onto the warmth of his chest.
"Shhh... it's ok. It's over now, I'm not going to let anything happen to you. Shhh." He whispered in my ear. I could feel him smoothing out the strands of my hair with his fingers and slowly rocking me back and forth. I slowly relaxed into his embrace and soon my body stopped trembling. But before I could completely give myself to him, his arms were pulling me up and he was wiping the tears off of my face.
"Listen, why don't we go for a walk so you can catch your breath before Booze and Ally come back, huh? What do you say?" he gently lifted my face up to his, and I couldn't help but feel safe with him. after everything that just happened all I wanted to do was be near him, be with him. So I nimbly nodded my head, grabbed his open hand and followed him down the beach. Before I knew it, we were on a deserted dock, leaning over a railing and looking into the deep blue of the ocean. I took a deep breath, inhaling the salty air that was so predictable and comforting, remembering the beautiful days spent at Luquillo Beach in Puerto Rico with my whole family, when we were a family.
"I'm sorry I dumped all that on you, I shouldn't have, its just that after the fight with my mom and everything that's happened... I just needed to spill it all out, you know." I glanced at him and saw he was looking forward not seeming to notice me. "Anyways, that's still no excuse and I'm sorry."
"Will you just stop apologizing!" he cried and suddenly grabbed me by the shoulders, spinning me around to face him. I was trapped, his grip was firm and I couldn't face anywhere except towards him. "Don't you know how amazing I feel that you trust me enough to tell me something as important as that, that you let me in. Don't apologize for anything because you have no right to, you have no right to try and take back what you've already given me. The only one who's sorry is me." He let go of me and turned to lean back against the railing as if nothing at all had happened, as if he hadn't just had an outburst.
"You... why are you sorry?" he looked towards me and there was something in his eyes, sorrow, regret, sadness.
"I'm sorry... because I know how it feels to lose someone you love so much, to feel alone, to feel as if no one in the world understands what your going through, to be in a room with the people you care about the most and feel as if you're a complete stranger. I would never want anyone to feel that way, to feel that lost. And so... I'm sorry." Who is this guy? One minute he's a cocky jerk and the next he's a scared and lost little boy. I can't figure him out, and that scares the hell out of me.
"Who was it?" I couldn't help but ask, I needed to know who had caused him so much grief.
"My dad." I almost didn't catch it, he said it so low. He was staring intently at something on his hands, avoiding looking at me at all costs; and just when I thought he wasn't going to say any more, he startled me with the deep sound of his voice. " My dad, he died when I was twelve. He was shot and killed and I saw it. I saw them murder him, and I couldn't help him. I just... I couldn't. And it haunts me every single day and I have nightmares, I can still hear the shot and my dad screaming in pain. I can see it, I can see everything. It haunts me... it haunts me everyday." He broke off. His eyes were glazed and there were tears running down his face. It was as if he was reliving the death of his father at that very moment. He started to pick at something in the palm of his right hand and began to pick harder and harder until both his hands turned red from the pressure. I quickly grabbed his hands to stop him and wrapped them around my waist. I didn't know what I was doing. I was acting out of instinct, but pretty soon I was wiping away his tears and clasping his face in my hands.
"Hey. Look at me, look at me!" I forced his face towards me and waited until his eyes were on mine. "Your going to be ok, I'm here for you ok. Its over, I'm here for you." Suddenly his face came closer to mine and we were just a breath apart. His eyes became unclouded and he was suddenly looking at my lips. He moved closer and his arms wrapped tighter around my back. He leaned into me and...
"Hey their you guys are, we've been looking for you everywhere. Hey Ally I found them they're over here." Like a bucket of cold water, we quickly jumped away from each other, trying to look anywhere but at our faces.
"Oh thank God we found you guys, we thought you were hiding from us or something." Called Ally while skipping towards us with Booze in tow.
"Heh heh... no not hiding, just catching a bit of a breather." replied Rafe, while nervously running his fingers through his hair.
"Ya we were just catching our breaths." You have no idea.
moving halfway across the world only to find that I'm different ch7
Start from the beginning
