Hunger

f o u r t e e n

Week 2

I don't know how it happened or what made me do it. All I know is that I don't regret it or feel remorse. It only took one second, and a few minutes to finish it. The rush that it gave me was amazing. I mean, one minute the food was inside me and a few after it was all gone. I felt empty, and the scale said an even lower number. How was that even possible?

I made sure to get everything out, but I don't remember anything after that, when I opened my eyes the sun was already shining, and I was still in the same clothes. My neck was killing me, since sleeping in my bathroom floor wasn't a comfortable place. I think I fainted, but I'm not completely sure.

I get out of the shower and rapped myself in my tower. I hadn't notice before, but my face was covered in red dots underneath my eyes. Was it due to all the crying? Or maybe the purging.

I finish getting ready and Christopher never came to tell me to hurry up, so I went downstairs confused. To my surprise his car was gone and so was my sister. He left without me? Why would he do that?

"Where are you?" I say through the phone. I had less than fifteen minutes to get there in time and the walk there is twenty minutes.

"I thought you loved walking." He replies and I'm not entirely sure if he was joking or being serious.

"You can't be serious." I whisper amazed. "You could have told me, so I would leave earlier. I'm going to be late!"

"I guess you better start running." He replies and hangs up.

I stare at my phone in disbelief. If I hated him before I loathe him now.

I start walking, knowing for a fact I was late, when Nathaniel appeared next to me in his car. I look at him from the corner of my eyes but pretend I don't see him.

"I know you can see me." He jokes, rolling down the window.

I turn to look at him and he smiles, showing his perfect teeth.

"Don't tell me you're back to walking?" He says jokingly, and I glare at him.

"Christopher left without me." I murmur still walking.

"Need a ride?" He asks and debate it for a moment.

"Fine." I say getting in. Truth be told, I wasn't in the mood of walking.

We get to the school in ten minutes, so I had five minutes to go to my locker and get my things without being late. But when I got out of the car, both Jeremy and Eva were staring at me in shock from the other side of the parking lot.

"It's not what it looks like." I say jogging to them.

"Yeah." Says Eva with a laugh. "You didn't just get out of Nathaniel's Audi."

"Guys." I say frowning. "Yesterday was a joke, right?" I ask worried. "You aren't really mad at me."

"Just go with your boyfriend and leaves us alone Katherine. Is not like it's hard for you to forget about us." Replies Jeremy and they walk away.

I stare at the floor, feeling like crying for the tenth time this week. It's only Tuesday and all I have accomplished is nothing.

Christopher walks past me and says nothing.

"You!" I shout grabbing his arm. "Are happy now? Was that a joke?" I ask angry. "You're an asshole. Did you want me to get detention again, so you father would kill me?"

"Like you care what my father has to say about you." He replies annoyed. "It's not like you care about anything in this life."

I watch him walk, still confused about his behavior. I get that he's mad, but about what. What happened at dinner, me getting drunk at the party? Why was he acting so awful to me? And it didn't help the fact that my two and only friends were angry at me.

"Christopher." I say quickly behind him. "Why didn't you invite my friends to the party?" I ask wondering if he was even going to bother answering me.

"Why would I?" He says frowning. "They are your friends, you were supposed to invite them. Not me." He says like it was the most obvious thing in the world. "I don't even talk to them. I assumed you were going to invite them, but I guess you were too busy with Nate."

He walks away, and I sigh. So, it was my fault after all.

I finish getting everything out of my locker and went to all my classes, avoiding food and especially my hunger. It was depressing, spending lunch in the bathroom all alone. At least I did my homework earlier and I wasn't tempted to eat food. I just had to tolerate listening to all the girls coming and going from the bathroom without noticing me. It had eight stalls, and no ever used the last one, so I was saved. But I knew for a fact that my high school years were going to be shit.

Can you give me a ride home? I asks Nate through DM, since I still don't have his number. He answered me a few minutes after and I was relieved I didn't have to walk home. I was so sick and tired, that I needed some rest.

"So." Says Nate during our silent ride. "Why is Christopher ignoring you?" He asks not taking his eyes off the road.

"We got into a fight." I reply, noticing how my hand was shaking a little bit.

"Oh." He says nodding.

I was glad he didn't ask what happened, because even I didn't know, but I was actually glad I had Nate "as a friend" or whatever it is we are.

I kiss his cheek goodbye and got out of the car. Christopher wasn't home yet. He was probably picking Olivia up from school.

I enter the kitchen and took a sit on the stool in front of the huge island. I'm so hungry. I think, touching my stomach, but I couldn't bring myself to eat. I came to the realization I feared food, and the impact it had over me. I feel a tear dripping down my face, and I sigh, resting my head on the counter.

A few minutes went by and I heard some footsteps entering the house.

"Katty!" I hear Liv shouting from the kitchen door.

I quickly dry my tears and smile at her.

"Are you sick?" She asks standing next to me.

"I'm fine." I say messing up her hair. "Some allergies." I reply watching Christopher walk inside the kitchen too.

"Oh." She says shrugging. "Do you need some medicine?" She asks frowning.

"It's okay." I reply, cleaning my nose with my hand.

"Is that why you didn't come with us to school?" She asks sad. "And you didn't pick me up either." She says crossing her arms."

"I-

"Lately you don't have time for me anymore." She continues, and I feel like crying again.

"It's not that." I say getting on my knees to be on the same height as her. "I've been really occupied, with school." I add trying to smile.

"You're acting just like you did before." She says staring at the floor.

"What?" I whisper confused.

"Like when daddy went away." She says, looking at me.

I stay silent, while she kept talking.

"You did that before." She adds taking a step back. "Didn't eat with mommy and I. And you were never home."

"Liv." I say grabbing her arms. "It's not the same thing." I tell her feeling the tears rolling down my face. "When daddy went away, I was sad really sad. And that's why I stopped hanging with you, but I promise I will be better now."

"But we have a new daddy." She says smiling. "You don't have to be sad anymore." She whispers, cleaning my tears.

I stand up, not knowing what I was supposed to say to that.

"Don't you have to do your homework Olivia?" Christopher asks walking next to her. "Want me to help you?"

She nods and goes up the stairs, with her little bag on the back.

"Kath-

"Don't." I whisper grabbing my bag and running up the stairs.