The Unforgotten Shadows of My Life

26. I Dreamed of Color Pt. 2

Matt~

"Just a few of the children."

Violet's voice travels outside of Katie's room. Although she always tries to sound like the bad guy, Katie's love of children is obvious to everyone. Her heart is so pure, if only more people could see it.

The door opens and I see Violet, "Why are you just standing there?" She glares at me as she walks past.

"I can't suffocate her," I look down at my feet sadly, "Katie's eyes...they..."

Violet turns around to face me, "Sometimes even people like Katie need someone there for them."

"But I'm not the one she wants."

"Stop being an idiot and go. The girl's basically blind. She's scared and she needs you to wake up and stop acting like a hurt puppy."

"But why me?"

"Matt," Violet hisses, "you say another word and I swear you will be sorry. Now get in there and grow up."

Violet pushes me through the door by Katie's bed. There's not a child in sight. Of course Violet would lie. I swear she enjoys torturing the girl. Knowing her, she probably used her magic to make it seem like she wasn't the only one in the room.

"Matt?" Katie's sad, gentle voice to my ear, "What are you doing here?"

I look down at her face contorted in confusion and fear. Left over remnants of dried blood clings to her damaged hair. Cuts and bruises distort her beautiful face. Katie. My Katie. What have they done to her?

"I don't know why I'm here," I say, "I just...I don't know...I want to help you."

"With what? Matt, all I want to do is cry. Do you realize I dreamed in color last night, yet when I woke up all I could see was darkness? All I can see are the foggy outlines of shapes. But you didn't know that," Katie looks down at her hands and the covers, tears streaming from her eyes, "You couldn't have known that because I didn't tell you. I couldn't tell you. If I told you...you'd leave me..." A sob escapes Katie's voice. I stop thinking about my own fears and anxieties and walk over and scoop her into my arms before realizing I've even moved.

"Why would I leave you?" I feel tears in my eyes and can barely force the words out of my lungs, "I love you. I...I don't know... All I know is I could never leave you."

"Matt, you don't love me," Katie reaches out and caresses her hand across my cheek, "You love the idea of me."

I go to reach for Katie, but she turns away from me. I see tears streaming down her face. She's closed herself completely off.

I turn away from her, trying to figure out what I can do to help her. How do I help her if she thinks of herself as a monster?

I get up and move away from the bed, looking for anything that may help me to ease her pain or make her realize how much I care. But I realize all I can do is be honest with her. I don't want to reveal who I am, but she will never trust me if I fail to trust her.

Slowly, I walk to the bathroom and fill a container with warm water. I then submerge one of the wash rags into the water and head back to Katie, avoiding all the dark objects piled on the floor.

"Why don't you have any lights on?" I ask.

"What difference would it make?" Katie shrieks at me.

I flinch, realizing my mistake. My words were careless. I was careless.

"Never mind," I say as I sit on the bed, "You're right. It wouldn't really make a difference if the lights were on.

"I'm not talking to you right now so shut up."