The Unforgotten Shadows of My Life

12. I Lost Him Too

I wanted Erik to turn around. I needed him to turn around. Ever since things started happening, Erik is the one that has been with me. We haven't even known each other that long, and yet he still feels the need to act like a hurt puppy for whatever it is that I said. He has no right to be mad at me.

I tense my fists as my heart begins beating rapidly, "What the hell did I do?" I shout, "There's nothing," I throw my fist in the direction Erik went, "that I could have possibly done to be treated like this!"

I am seething. I do not know why I am so mad, but I am. I want to completely lose myself, but I know I can't. I need to have someone here for me right now, in this place, but I'm all alone. Nobody is there for me anymore. Not my dad, not my older brothers, not my grandma that I just found out I had, none of these people are there for me anymore. What good is being connected by blood when they all leave you?

I think back to when Erik held me shortly after Ruth died even though he had only just met me. He was so warm, so kind. We could have been friends, but I lost him too.

Tears spring into my eyes after realizing what I've lost. Heart wrenching sobs escape from my lips. There's nothing I can do to stop it. My knees give out and I tumble to the ground, but it's not enough to stop me from crying. I don't know why I'm crying so hard. I don't know why I am so upset that I can hardly catch my breath. I want to know, but it's all a blur. All I can do is cry the tears I have been holding back for who knows how long.

I feel somebody's presence walking towards me, but my muddled brain is too tired to react or acknowledge who it is. The person simply walks up to me and places their strong, warm hand on my shoulder as I cry. The movement startles me and I silence my tears. Neither of us make a sound as I cling to the presence of whoever it is that decided to comfort me. It is a person who knows pain, a person who knows to stand back and just let someone cry, offering only their presence as comfort. This person is like me.

"Ma..." A woman's voice begins and then stops for whatever reason. I could look at them, see who it is, but I'm too tired to move.

"I need to get her to her room," the woman speaks again, "... We'll figure out how to help her... I can't read lips so stop...I don't care what you do, just move her. I haven't got all day."

Shortly after the woman stops talking, I feel myself lifted into the strong arms of a man. I stopped crying a while ago, too intrigued by what everyone had to say. Now I'm just emotionally and physically drained of all that's happened. I could look the man who helped me in the eyes now, but my muscles won't listen to me.

"I hear she went through a lot before she got here. I know a lot of people consider what she said unforgivable, but I believe she's a scared girl that just lost everything and doesn't know which way to turn. People just need to give her time. Who knows? Maybe she'll surprise us," the woman pauses, probably to leave room for the man to talk, "You're not going to say anything while she's here, are you? Come on. She's half asleep. She won't hear us outside." Following the woman's voice I hear footsteps, and then a door slam shut. That is the last thing I remember before I black out.

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I wake up to the scurrying of feet and shuffling of fabric upon fabric. I slowly pry my eyes open and try to adjust to the light. Looking up, I see a beautiful elf with long golden hair and violet eyes looking down on me.

"How..." I go to speak.

"A friend brought you here. If I were strong enough I would have, but obviously I'm a lot smaller than many of the tall, strikingly gorgeous elves you probably saw when you were younger."

"I..."

"Don't speak," the elf states firmly, yet kindly, "I am Violet, and before you say anything, I know, my parents were very creative in naming me," she states and I smile in response, "Don't worry. You'll get used to me in no time."

I watch as Violet scurries around trying to get things put together. She smiles at me from time-to-time, but for the most part she's too busy with her work to notice me, “I thought I said not to speak," she says when she notices me open my mouth to say something.

"But I..."

"This dress," she ignores me and shows me a beautiful, royal blue dress, "will look wonderful with your eyes," she says with a sparkle in her eye, "And I even think it will make you're pretty red hair look exquisite."

I eye the dress in front of me. It is a simple dress, with only a few flower patterns embroidered into the skirts, but the cut of it is perfect. Sometimes there is beauty in simplicity, and this is one of those times.

"It's beautiful," I say in a daze, "But what about the..."

"Don't worry. Erik has already informed me of your distaste of corsets. I have just the thing," she gleams like a giddy child just given a jar full of candy.

"I can do it," I say to stop her from helping dress me.

"Honey, normally I would let you do more, but you've been out for a week..."

"A week?"

"I don't know what kind of creature you are, but..."

"It doesn't matter what I am!" Because I've been out for a week. I'm losing control again...

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Discussion Questions: Do you know who helped Katie? If you do, why do you think that person helped her? Also, let me know if the flow so far seems weird to you!