Thoughts of an Observant Introvert

Thoughts in a shower.

As she sat on the tiled floor in the shower, the water ran down her body and washed away with the dirt, her tears. If only she could scrub harder to get rid of the filth that she felt still remained behind, despite the amount of showers she had. Her thoughts were running wild, and she could not get out of her head the troubles that she wished would dissipate. She thought of her family, and how she prayed that they would change their actions and start caring about her, for she thought that was what all younger girls had; a kind and caring family. Her older brother, who was supposed to protect her against all evils, was who she feared the most; for his stare could pierce a thousand brick walls at no cost. She was treated unkindly from a young age, and she only wanted kindness, but she was foreign to this concept, and all that she had ever known was wickedness and evil. Her mother had despised her since the day that she had birthed her, for reasons that remained unknown to her. She tried to get her mother to love her, but that only made her seem desperate, which earned her nothing but disgust from her mother, for 'desperateness was only reserved for prostitutes' , was how she had put it. She hoped that whichever God was up in the sky forgave her for all the past sins that she had committed, and the biggest sin she was about to commit.