My Public Diary

Day One

Today was okay.. But the constant thoughts lingered in my mind. The constant thoughts are "you're worthless. No one cares about you. Stop eating fatty." But I survived another day. I was with my two best friends today, Lexi and Caleb. (Hi Caleb). He reads my Wattpad stories, so I thought I should say hi. I published my first story today. My autobiography of my depression and other issues. When Caleb read my confession, hearing about it for the first time, he said the greatest thing to me. Instantly the thoughts left my mind and the only thing I was thinking about was what he said. I hope he doesn't mind, but I'm going to share his kind words. "Ok Melissa.... I read it.... And I'm so, so sorry that you feel that way about yourself, but I understand. I'm not holding anything against you or judging you, I actually admire you for your strength. I know how it feels to feel inadequate, even to the most basic things, I deal with feelings of worthlessness almost everyday and I'm so sorry that you were bullied last year. Thats abolutely awful and I hate people like that because they dont know how terrible it can make a person feel. I'm not upset at you, I admire you. You are strong enough to write it down and put it out there, strong enough to push through it and help yourself and feel better that's such a great mindset to have because I just thought I could never be worth anything or be important to anybody and it took me so long to realize that I am. You're amazing Melissa, please don't forget that." (I did fix his grammar. Haha sorry XD) So as I write this, I feel good about myself and that someone that barely knows me, feels this way about me. So thank you Caleb, I'm so lucky to have met you!