*~Langston one shots~*

Angels

Missing someone isn't about how long its been since you've seen them or the amount of time since you've talked. Its about the very moment when you are doing something and wishing they were right there with you.  At least that's what they say. I could add quite a bit to it, like when you catch a hint of their perfume and you try to chase down the source just so you can hold on a little longer. When you walk into a room where they have slept and you crawl between the sheets just to feel them close to you for a moment. When you sit down in the silence and you swear you can hear the echo of there heart just the way it sounded when they held you tightly to their chest. 

On and on everything around me resonates with her presence. How is that possible? How is it that in just five short days she left her impression on every piece of my world? If you were to look closely at her pictures hanging on my walls you could see her halo. That may just be the answer to my question. God works in mysterious ways, and I have heard that he sends angels to this world to guide us on our way. 

I think the weather even knows shes not here. She brought the sun and since the night she left if has been dark and cloudy. She held my hand and she made me laugh. I would give anything that was asked just to sit huddled tight with her again. I don't understand why but with her here the world was peaceful I lost all feeling of worry or anxiety. She has that power in her to bring you to your knees in solace. 

If I was to hold one moment forever it would be dancing with her at my wedding a bottle of IBC root-beer between our hands as she smiled and we laughed. She told me how proud she was to have me as a daughter and how she truly loved me. She never stuttered a single word as she said she fell in love the moment we met, even though we both had drank heavily all evening. The way her eyes light up and the sound of her laughter as we sang to each other for hours. I will never forget that night and the fun we had. 

On the other side of the spectrum I will never forget leaving her at the airport hugging her goodbye and watching her walk away. When she turned at the door and waved her suitcase behind her and the wind blowing between us. "Christmas." she said. "We will see you at Christmas. I'm only a phone call away whenever you need me." The truth of it is she is 2,400 miles away on the other side of the country. "You are stronger than you know" I think she has more faith in me than im capable of granting her. 

I cant wait to leave this place and be with her in a better life. I cried all the way home and I still cry at the thought of her being gone. I want my family to have a better life and I want them to be happy. We are happy with her and our family in Carolina. Not here in this mess. I just want to be able to hold her hand again and hear her laugh. Until then I don't know what I will do but I pray that God can see us through. My guardian angel walks this earth at my side, not always in person, but always in spirit. She is sweet and kind and holds God in the highest of glory, she is held in many harts and answers to many thing, but I call her Mom.