The Otherkind Book One:Heart

~*~ 33 ~*~

~*~ 33 ~*~

He was gone.

Stalking out of my life completely oblivious of my heart laying there shattered in the gutter. I stood there at the bottom of my driveway for a long time wondering how it could all have turned out so wrong. A tear slid down my cheek, half from frustration that he wouldn't even fight for us, but mostly because of the deep black heartache that was engulfing me in huge suffocating waves.

I stood there letting the cold seep into me long after he had turned the corner. Turning finally, I went back up my driveway into my house using the back door. I felt dead inside. Cold and alone and utterly devastated.

Dad was standing by the counter. He had a view out the back window. He had seen, maybe not understood what he was seeing, but he had seen.

It didn't matter anymore.

"Hi dad—-" I tried to sound like nothing was wrong. I knew I wasn't fooling him, even to me my voice sounded empty and hallow.

Turning to look at me he remained quiet. He looked like I felt.

Clearing his throat he began slowly, his voice heavy and hollow. "I called my mom, your Grams, tonight after Uncle Mark came and talked to me."

For a moment I wondered if Uncle Mark had reneged on our deal. It wasn't dark when we had all first pulled up into the driveway. "Oh?" I was too numb inside to care if he had told on me or not. "What did he say?" I asked at a half-hearted stab at conversation.

Dad looked down at the floor, than at me, his eyes filled with pain. He didn't have to say the words I already knew. He was caving in to the pressure and sending me away. I turned away from him and went to go up to my room.

"Rowan?"

I stopped but didn't turn around.

"It is for the best."

"So everyone says."

I stood there for a moment and then turning around I stared hard at him. "Has anyone once, just once, wanted to hear how I felt about it? It's my life and everyone else is deciding what is best for the poor motherless baby who can't think for herself, who can't understand anything, who needs someone to come around and tie her shoes —-and dress her —-and rescue her from seen and unseen things!" My anger and pain was spilling out onto my dad. Anger for what just happened. Anger for what dad was doing. It was all coming out in one giant black thing that if I didn't explode with it, it would just eat me away until there was nothing left. I hoped for the later.

Woodenly I stared him down. "When are you sending me away—- dad?"

He was mute under the blast of my own pain and wrath.

"Well? When?" my voice was harsh and icy.

He looked away.

I took a step closer to him yelling this time. "I deserve an answer! At least tell me when you are sending me away!"

His voice was so quiet I had to strain to listen. "Your plane leaves at ten fifty tomorrow morning." He was silent for a few moments. "We'll leave before dawn."

My heart stopped or at least it felt like it. My skin felt cold. I forgot how to breathe for a moment and then everything got all fuzzy before my eyes. Reaching for the chair to steady myself dad made a move to come to me. I held up my hand, holding him off. He stepped back seeing the look in my eyes. Turning without a word I left the room.

"Rowan—-." he called softly, his heart aching.

I ignored him. Everyone ignored me. No one cared if I hurt! My anger was turning inward where it belonged so I didn't hurt anyone else. Slowly I walked up the stairs. My world was crashing into a wall and I didn't want to every pick up the pieces again. I closed the door to my room with finality. I had to pack.