I HATE YOU

6

sora.

do you remember the first time you hurt me?

i do.

it was late that night and we both had extremely stressful days.

i had woken up early that morning to get a good start on the day.

i let you rest because you looked so peaceful. and beautiful. you were so damn beautiful.

i watched your chest rise and fall in sync as you slept in that morning.

i wish i would've woken you.

i waited all damn day, sora.

you finally texted me later that morning, the notification made me smile.

but the smile soon faded.

good morning, tae. have a good day.
yours,
sor xoxo

i remember wanting to weep right there in my office, but i refused.

i knew you'd remember.

you had to.

i went that whole day without another word. i was soaked with disappointment and melancholy.

i caught the train that afternoon back home. i wish i would've stayed at work.

i waited all fucking night for you, sora.

you came home at 11, exhausted and ready for bed.

i was quiet, my back turned against you. i knew i was probably acting childish but i was still so hurt.

you just had that effect on me, sora.
you still do.
you could change my whole mood just by the mood you were in.

you ran your small fingers through the back of my hair. you began to take off your pumps and undress into nothing.

you slipped so quietly into bed, wrapping your cold, nude body tightly against me.

i smiled at the thought that i was keeping you warm. that you needed me to feel comfortable.

but that can be anyone right?

anyone can offer you warmth and support.

you taught me that, sora.

but damn, you had no idea how much you hurt me.
and how silly of me to think that it would be the last time.

because honestly, sora, you could hurt me over and over again. and you would do it just because you would know you had every ounce of freedom to do so.

i remember letting silent tears fall onto my pillow that night.

you never knew because i wiped the ones away that would've marked themselves on your arms.

i cried because you had forgotten my birthday, sora.

and instead of realizing what you had done, you pushed it away like it had never even happened.

and for that i just
really
really
hate you.

tae.